Have you been molested or worse? [TW]

Originally Posted by RoxasPup

Thats the thing that confounds me on wether or not it was though. my mind wasnt saying no. i wasnt tramatized on it either and look back on it as a good memory myself ( what ever that says about my mind) i never thought about it being rape because i mentally and physically wanted to do it. I obviously gave consent even though the law says i cant. Im more confused about wether or not if its considered rape rather then the actual act it self. I guess im just weird like that ive never had a sex negative bringing up. maybe that is why?

to be fair there's a difference between the law saying you cant consent (due to them believing you're not old enough to realise what you're consenting) and you actually consenting. also the thing is you said you was like 9 and I believe you didn't know anything about masturbation or those "touches". Your mind was a child and of course it'd say yes to feeling good.

If you did know about it and was completely fine, then I guess you can say it's sort of acceptable as you consent, he wasn't hurting you and he wasn't taking advantage of it (this is kind of iffy thing to be truthful). Do wanna state a 13-14-year-old shouldn't be doing that with someone 2 years younger than them and/or someone below 12.

I don't think you're weird mate. also, I think it's because you trust your cousin, they didn't "abuse" you, and that they did it to bring you pleasure rather than to make themselves feel good. Not having a sex-negative background could have helped.

On vacation last year
Older like late teens / early 20s
Didn’t expect it, was so sudden from friendly to grabbing pulling at what I had on

Still wake up sweaty at night sometimes

This was a tragic read

I mean yeah a lot happens in the system. More than others can imagine and realize.

I have. And it's the raw source of my anger, my depression, my humiliation, and my PTSD.

I dont talk about it much because im still going through the therapy process. My abuse started when i was 9 and continued until i was about 11. The abuser was the husband of a trusted friend of my mothers named Karen. Ill call him Jeff for this post. You would never know the monster inside this person by looking at him, talking too him, or being around him. Jeff was like that super nice guy that makes you feel special and makes you laugh at all his stupid jokes. I wanted to be with him. I knew his touching and "tickling" was kind of naughty. I mean, who hasnt been taught in kindergarten about bad touching? but it made me feel special. It made me think that this was what "love" is. I was never raped, never penetrated by anything except his finger. It was mostly tickling, rubbing, "massages", lots of play spankings with pants down, modeling any new underwear i got, etc. etc. And yes, he also taught me what boys like too.

It only stopped because they moved away for work. I was shocked and sad that he left without saying good-bye. My mom kept in touch with email and email with Karen, his wife, her friend.

I never said a word. It was my "special secret". Since he never hurt me physically, i never made much of a deal about it. It did bother me later, like 13, when i learned about what a pedophile is, but i still never told.

When i was 16 my mom got a call. Jeff was arrested for raping an 10 yr old. Not molesting, but raping, destroying a young girls life. My mom asked if he ever touched me. I said no. I lied. I didnt want her or anybody to know my now ugly secret. It later dawned on me that if HAD told when i was little, if I DID tell my [parents like i new i should have -- That little girl probably wouldnt have been raped. Jeff would already be in jail or would be on a list of predators or something.

But he wasnt -- because I never told!!! A beautiful little girl suffered something unimaginable ALL because I didnt want to tell my secret.

I know it's not my fault. But it still hurts knowing "could have" prevented something horrible, but I didnt. I was stupid & selfish thinking that what Jeff did to me was "special"

.
The real truth: I wasnt "special". I was nothing more then a hairless / flat chested and overly trusting little girl to him. I eventually opened up to my mom after i had started therapy for self harming and depression. The root of which started with HIM!

He's still in prison, not able to hurt others. But those that he had hurt, the innocence murdered, and any self-confidence destroyed. WE are the ones that suffer and we will suffer LONG after he is release from jail.

This IS my nightmare.

Again, im getting help, and feel better about myself today. But if you HAVE been molested -- PLEASE PLEASE tell someone! It's NEVER too late to expose these people for who that are-- Monsters.

That is truly awful and disturbing. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That is horrible.

Reading some of the things on here is heart breaking!

Thankfully I've only had some guys at school brush up against me a few times but nothing more than that. I'm glad too reading some of the stuff from here.

My heart goes out to you all

I was going to say I’ve been felt up in line at a water slide and how that felt bad, but it’s nothing compared to what I’ve just read here
I’m so sorry for you all who have been wronged so badly

I got felt up by my babysitter when I was like 6 or 7. Didn't really know what was happening at the time. I kind of enjoyed it I guess but I wouldn't really do it agian

My mom told me I was molested by our neighbours teenage son when I was 2. I don't remember it. I try not to think about it. He was charged right away and we moved soon after.

Felt up but thats so common, nothing as terrible as some of these stories

Originally Posted by twirlgurl

I have. And it's the raw source of my anger, my depression, my humiliation, and my PTSD.

I dont talk about it much because im still going through the therapy process. My abuse started when i was 9 and continued until i was about 11. The abuser was the husband of a trusted friend of my mothers named Karen. Ill call him Jeff for this post. You would never know the monster inside this person by looking at him, talking too him, or being around him. Jeff was like that super nice guy that makes you feel special and makes you laugh at all his stupid jokes. I wanted to be with him. I knew his touching and "tickling" was kind of naughty. I mean, who hasnt been taught in kindergarten about bad touching? but it made me feel special. It made me think that this was what "love" is. I was never raped, never penetrated by anything except his finger. It was mostly tickling, rubbing, "massages", lots of play spankings with pants down, modeling any new underwear i got, etc. etc. And yes, he also taught me what boys like too.

It only stopped because they moved away for work. I was shocked and sad that he left without saying good-bye. My mom kept in touch with email and email with Karen, his wife, her friend.

I never said a word. It was my "special secret". Since he never hurt me physically, i never made much of a deal about it. It did bother me later, like 13, when i learned about what a pedophile is, but i still never told.

When i was 16 my mom got a call. Jeff was arrested for raping an 10 yr old. Not molesting, but raping, destroying a young girls life. My mom asked if he ever touched me. I said no. I lied. I didnt want her or anybody to know my now ugly secret. It later dawned on me that if HAD told when i was little, if I DID tell my [parents like i new i should have -- That little girl probably wouldnt have been raped. Jeff would already be in jail or would be on a list of predators or something.

But he wasnt -- because I never told!!! A beautiful little girl suffered something unimaginable ALL because I didnt want to tell my secret.

I know it's not my fault. But it still hurts knowing "could have" prevented something horrible, but I didnt. I was stupid & selfish thinking that what Jeff did to me was "special"

.
The real truth: I wasnt "special". I was nothing more then a hairless / flat chested and overly trusting little girl to him. I eventually opened up to my mom after i had started therapy for self harming and depression. The root of which started with HIM!

He's still in prison, not able to hurt others. But those that he had hurt, the innocence murdered, and any self-confidence destroyed. WE are the ones that suffer and we will suffer LONG after he is release from jail.

This IS my nightmare.

Again, im getting help, and feel better about myself today. But if you HAVE been molested -- PLEASE PLEASE tell someone! It's NEVER too late to expose these people for who that are-- Monsters.

It may sound strange and monstrous to you, but what happened to you, and then the violence against another girl - this is your parents' fault. Don't rush to object right away, I'll explain why.

You see, there is such a thing as sex education, and normally it should start at the age of 4-5 with an explanation of how boys are different from girls. And parents are obliged to call the genitals by their proper names, and not "pistils", "stamens" and other allegories.

If your parents talked to you about this, if they built a trusting relationship with you, then you would not have a problem to say right away. Your parents had to explain to you that the touch of a stranger to your genitals is very bad and that you should immediately tell your mother about it as soon as it happened.

I can understand your parents. They didn’t want to tell you some terrible and unpleasant things, believing that you would avoid this. But no one is immune from this, and the obligation of parents is not only to give the child an education, but also to be a stronghold for their child, in which the child can find understanding, support, where the child can share everything that worries him/her.

Originally Posted by AlisaWe

It may sound strange and monstrous to you, but what happened to you, and then the violence against another girl - this is your parents' fault. Don't rush to object right away, I'll explain why.

You see, there is such a thing as sex education, and normally it should start at the age of 4-5 with an explanation of how boys are different from girls. And parents are obliged to call the genitals by their proper names, and not "pistils", "stamens" and other allegories.

If your parents talked to you about this, if they built a trusting relationship with you, then you would not have a problem to say right away. Your parents had to explain to you that the touch of a stranger to your genitals is very bad and that you should immediately tell your mother about it as soon as it happened.

I can understand your parents. They didn’t want to tell you some terrible and unpleasant things, believing that you would avoid this. But no one is immune from this, and the obligation of parents is not only to give the child an education, but also to be a stronghold for their child, in which the child can find understanding, support, where the child can share everything that worries him/her.

It’s not the parents fault, it’s the abusers fault

They could have done more to prevent sure but it’s always the person who did it who is to blame

Yes
I still hate being on my own especially when away from home
I just get so anxious

Like most products of the foster care system, yes

Originally Posted by twirlgurl

I have. And it's the raw source of my anger, my depression, my humiliation, and my PTSD.

I dont talk about it much because im still going through the therapy process. My abuse started when i was 9 and continued until i was about 11. The abuser was the husband of a trusted friend of my mothers named Karen. Ill call him Jeff for this post. You would never know the monster inside this person by looking at him, talking too him, or being around him. Jeff was like that super nice guy that makes you feel special and makes you laugh at all his stupid jokes. I wanted to be with him. I knew his touching and "tickling" was kind of naughty. I mean, who hasnt been taught in kindergarten about bad touching? but it made me feel special. It made me think that this was what "love" is. I was never raped, never penetrated by anything except his finger. It was mostly tickling, rubbing, "massages", lots of play spankings with pants down, modeling any new underwear i got, etc. etc. And yes, he also taught me what boys like too.

It only stopped because they moved away for work. I was shocked and sad that he left without saying good-bye. My mom kept in touch with email and email with Karen, his wife, her friend.

I never said a word. It was my "special secret". Since he never hurt me physically, i never made much of a deal about it. It did bother me later, like 13, when i learned about what a pedophile is, but i still never told.

When i was 16 my mom got a call. Jeff was arrested for raping an 10 yr old. Not molesting, but raping, destroying a young girls life. My mom asked if he ever touched me. I said no. I lied. I didnt want her or anybody to know my now ugly secret. It later dawned on me that if HAD told when i was little, if I DID tell my [parents like i new i should have -- That little girl probably wouldnt have been raped. Jeff would already be in jail or would be on a list of predators or something.

But he wasnt -- because I never told!!! A beautiful little girl suffered something unimaginable ALL because I didnt want to tell my secret.

I know it's not my fault. But it still hurts knowing "could have" prevented something horrible, but I didnt. I was stupid & selfish thinking that what Jeff did to me was "special"

.
The real truth: I wasnt "special". I was nothing more then a hairless / flat chested and overly trusting little girl to him. I eventually opened up to my mom after i had started therapy for self harming and depression. The root of which started with HIM!

He's still in prison, not able to hurt others. But those that he had hurt, the innocence murdered, and any self-confidence destroyed. WE are the ones that suffer and we will suffer LONG after he is release from jail.

This IS my nightmare.

Again, im getting help, and feel better about myself today. But if you HAVE been molested -- PLEASE PLEASE tell someone! It's NEVER too late to expose these people for who that are-- Monsters.

I’m so sorry
It’s definitely not your fault, it’s all him

But also society for making you feel like you couldn’t tell and also leaving you so uninformed

I’ve never been raped, but it’s sad and scary reading some people here experience that. I was touched and molested before, but it didn’t hurt me at least. It affected me for sure. I was later open to having sex very easily so i think that’s a affect (not with who molested me!). Sex was willing for me but definitely what I experience before affect me to being ok with sex. At least nothing really bad happened and I’m not hurt or depressed or anything like that!