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Old August 26th, 2019, 12:43 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: August 5, 2017
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default I need help with a following dilemma

Over time I seem to become so desperate to want to work on privatizing myself

And yet at the same time I seem to want to crave attention because it develops this consciousness that reminds me of my existence

I get that everyone wants attention, but are the cravings really stronger for people suffering from solitude or social isolation????.

Looking back at all the many times I did whatever I could to blast out my craving for attention and get that attention back, now I am in that stage where I want to regret all the attention I earned myself over time, yet at the same time the regret isn't too strong because the internet and media over time only keep getting more interconnected. And plus I am responsible for it so...

The internet isn't as indie-like as it was a few decades ago

Back on topic- What can I do to solve this? My social life is somewhat improving, but in the meantime what can I do to overcome my cravings for attention? It has somewhat backfired and don't want that to happen. If people could only be less discriminatory of our akward notions...

I also understand that is normal and natural for a teen to go through what is referred to as the "Imaginary audience" syndrome. But even then some teens do it better than others

I mean my cravings for attention may have backfired, but I am thankful I never participated in any stupid social media fad challenge. Looking back at you Tide Pods.
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Old August 26th, 2019, 09:32 AM   #2
Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Default Re: I need help with a following dilemma

Divert ur feelings from urself onto helping
others as volunteering at a soup kitchen or
a hospital or even b a tutor to some student
that needs help in a subject.
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Old August 26th, 2019, 12:02 PM   #3
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Name: Dan
Join Date: May 28, 2014
Location: United States
Age: 20
Gender: Gender Questioning
Blog Entries: 9
Default Re: I need help with a following dilemma


It's a survival mechanism. You want social attention because it has benefited people in the past to seek socialization. To some extent, I think it is a necessary part of development to give in to these cravings to some extent and continuously make mistakes because of it. Those mistakes will teach you more than holding back ever could. We have grown as a species because of our ability to have tact, control our instincts, and understand them such that we can better direct their application towards our own well-being. This is a learned skill, however, and the environment of high school, college, middle school, or wherever you are at this stage in your life is the most protected environment to explore it in.

In fact, if you don't explore it now, you'll probably regret it in the future. Now is the time to take some chances and meet new people. Make mistakes. Have a hard time. In the end, you'll be happier as a result. Just be careful. As long as you have common sense and don't push it so far that you set yourself up for irreparable damage, you should be okay. That is a lot of what VT is for, I think. Outside observers can often better tell when you're taking things too far.

Best of luck to you. Come back if you need more advice.

previously anonymousteen14 & Rainbow Dash.
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Old October 1st, 2019, 04:52 PM   #4
Join Date: November 3, 2013
Location: Texas
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: I need help with a following dilemma

I think you may have nicely summarized the emotional roller coaster that is called adolescence. It is a great sign of maturity & care that you are contemplating this question, & considering how you truly want to socially participate in society as an adult. There are many good suggestions above.

There is nothing wrong with seeking attention. Humans have largely survived due our social interactions, although negative attention usually makes me feel rather stupid. If you look around, there are numerous options to gain attention, experience some positive self esteem, & expose yourself to whole new aspects of socialization.

I do this as a “Big Brother” to 11 & 13 yr old biological brothers that have no access to their father. They have fun, I have fun, & it allows all 3 of us to sample & discuss innumerable Social interacts we observe together. We don’t consciously seek this goal, but often it is as simple as, “What did you think about the guy in the movie theater that stayed on his iPhone?” Not solving major world problems, but We 3 are observing pointing out examples of positive & negative social interaction- & attention.

Last thought- do you play a musical instrument, can you paint, sculpt, sing or act? Those all, to me, offer an opportunity to participate in social situations, but can also allow you to keep parts of you completely private, while sharing what you want to share,

I hope this is properly on-topic for you.

Some days you're the bug;
some days you're the windshield.
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