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Old September 16th, 2020, 02:46 PM   #1
ceto2
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Default Please try to help

Well i am going out with a lovely person he says he loves me but there something isn’t right at all. He wanks him self off when I’m not in bedroom at his own flat but I have walked in on him and he had the laptop on porn videos well gay men ones. I’m not sure what to think
He says he loves me but don’t think he do as much as he says.m Any ideas please I been with him 5 years

Last edited by Bluebyrd; September 16th, 2020 at 04:51 PM.
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Old September 16th, 2020, 03:03 PM   #2
jamie_n5
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Default Re: Please try to help

It is really hard to say what he is thinking. I would venture to guess that he is most likely Bi. Most of us guys do have some fascination with watching ourselves and other guys cum. After all even in porn the most interesting part is watching the guy cum and the girl moan. I would maybe talk to him and even ask him if he is Bi or if he is Gay and just trying to cover because he is afraid to come out because of family or ridicule. I waited until I was 15 to come out to my family and I was also getting tired of being asked when I was going to take a girl to the dance and stuff. So who knows but I would say talking to him would be the best. You can always remain to be just close friends.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
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Old September 16th, 2020, 03:10 PM   #3
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Default Re: Please try to help

Boys watch porn and wank all the time. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. We all have our cravings. Try not to overthink it.

It's good to have faith in the Lord, but it's also important to use your head once in a while.
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Old September 16th, 2020, 03:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: Please try to help

Talk to him about your worries, talking is the most important thing in a relationship. Its probably nothing to worry about, but letting him know, he can talk to you about it. Just from watching porn doesn't mean anything really (sure everyone watches or imagines that stuff) and he can reasure you with what his true feelings for you are


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Old September 16th, 2020, 03:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: Please try to help

I would say he might be Bi. After being with him
for five years you should know how he is. I do
think that while you are with him it is weird for
him to go and wank off. Usually with the opposite
sex someone would do it while being alone with
no one around. I dont know what to think why he
might be doing this. Again you know him quite
awhile why dont you ask him why he does this
when he knows that the two of you are close.
You also have to remember that we all pleasure
ourselves whether we have a partner or not due
to how horny we get.
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Old September 16th, 2020, 04:02 PM   #6
ceto2
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Well I have tried to talk to him about it but he don’t say nothing to me he is also in the group with over 2500 If he can even tall me what going on then I might have to start thinking it not working out for us
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Old September 16th, 2020, 04:18 PM   #7
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Default Re: Please try to help

My boyfriend looks at porn sometimes and I don't like it but he's told me that it's me he loves and the porn isn't anything to replace me and I think he's right.
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Old September 16th, 2020, 04:39 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ceto2 View Post
Well I have tried to talk to him about it but he dont say nothing to me he is also in the group with over 2500 If he can even tall me what going on then I might have to start thinking it not working out for us
Awwwww well hopefully you can work it out and he will open up to you. You did the right thing by trying to talk about it despite it being very uncomfortable. It must be awkward for him, which is why he shut down the conversation maybe, but still you are right. It has to be dealt with so you can have an understanding.



"I am and always will be the optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams."
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Old September 16th, 2020, 04:42 PM   #9
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Old September 17th, 2020, 06:20 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ceto2 View Post
Well i am going out with a lovely person he says he loves me but there something isn’t right at all. He wanks him self off when I’m not in bedroom at his own flat but I have walked in on him and he had the laptop on porn videos well gay men ones. I’m not sure what to think
He says he loves me but don’t think he do as much as he says.m Any ideas please I been with him 5 years
If the issue is about your boyfriend watching porn in general and masturbating, then that should not be a deal breaker for you even if you both have sex regularly. The thing you have to remember is that for some people their sex drives are pretty high, and chances are your boyfriend needs to masturbate to deal with his needs especially if there are times when he might want to have sex and you might not be willing. Putting aside sex, nearly all guys masturbate even if they're in a relationship, and masturbating does not mean that you are dissatisfying him in anyway. After all, guys start masturbating as young as 11/12 and do it long before they get girlfriends, and it is something that sticks with guys even when they are in relationships.

I think that the females on this thread said it best that the porn thing is something that guys look at in general, and it is something that should not be threatening to you. However, if your boyfriend is using porn as reality and is expecting you to perform those kinds of things on him and you are not comfortable with it, then that should be a cause for concern without a doubt. Watching porn in general does not mean your boyfriend does not find you unattractive, and many boys start watching porn around the time they start masturbating which is oftentimes long before they get into relationships. As a result, definitely do not take the porn watching personally.

The gay porn is something that is of concern, and you should definitely have a discussion about that as opposed to masturbating or watching porn in general. The other users above said it best that your boyfriend could be bisexual, and you need to make sure that your boyfriend is only seeing you and is not doing anything on the side with guys. It is fair game to ask your boyfriend if he has any same sex feelings and if he is honestly into guys. The user above who said that sometimes a guy in that situation could be gay but is using the girl as a cover to avoid coming out. I am not saying that is the case with your boyfriend at all, but I can understand why you would feel badly.

My guess is your boyfriend is very embarrassed for being caught and for your finding the gay porn. The reason why he probably does not want to talk about it is if you are questioning his sexuality that could be an insult to him even though it is a fair question at this point. Especially if your boyfriend has been questioning his sexuality in his own mind, then getting that question from you is going to be very tough.

My suggestion is to give your boyfriend space right now. Since you both have been together for five years just be supportive of him and give him a week or two to open up. Just let him know inbetween that you are supportive of him and that you like him for just the way he is. The goal is that you both can have a conversation about his sexuality and that if he is indeed gay or bisexual that you can decide your future from there. I am sure your boyfriend is in as much shock as you are which is why you both need some space right now to think things through.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ceto2 View Post
Well I have tried to talk to him about it but he don’t say nothing to me he is also in the group with over 2500 If he can even tall me what going on then I might have to start thinking it not working out for us
I did not understand that your boyfriend is in a group over 2500?

As a girlfriend you have some genuine questions right now about your boyfriend and his sexuality, but I would wait at least a week before pushing the situation. Right now be supportive of him and let him know that you care about him. I think if you can come across compassionate and understanding as opposed to shocked and horrified, then your boyfriend will open up.

If this means anything, in the event that your boyfriend is gay or is bisexual and likes guys more than girls, then that is not your fault. You had no way of knowing that, and you went into the relationship in good faith. Sometimes there are people who do not understand themselves and do things that are not fair to others. My hope is that if your boyfriend is indeed not into girls he can be honest so that you both can be good friends as opposed to continuing something that could possibly go nowhere. Just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you as a woman, and if your boyfriend does not like girls, then that is his issue and nothing to do with you.
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Old September 17th, 2020, 06:56 AM   #11
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Default Re: Please try to help

Porn can be inspirational and maybe develop your sexlife (I don't know how gay porn will do that though)
But it's also better he watch porn than cheat on you to fullfil his needs.

"Comedy is like sex. If they haven't made a noise in a while, change what you're doing."

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Old September 17th, 2020, 12:43 PM   #12
AshleighB
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Most boys probably watch porn I don’t really see it as a problem unless it starts getting addictive and starts preferring it to you

Im not clumsy its just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in the way
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Old September 20th, 2020, 08:38 AM   #13
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Maybe he’s bi, or he just watch porn for fun, it’s normal. I like boys a lot but sometimes I also watch porn with lesbians.
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Old September 20th, 2020, 01:19 PM   #14
ceto2
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2500 in what forms he has written
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Old September 23rd, 2020, 09:19 AM   #15
Ashley2004
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Default Re: Please try to help

I don't see what the issue is. Most people watch at least some porn and masturbate regularly even when in a relationship. That should be no factor.
If he's bi, who cares as long as he's not cheating on you.
If you can't trust him, and/or you 2 can't communicate, then the relationship has no chance regardless of anything else. Without those 2 things, you have nothing.
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