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Old November 25th, 2009, 02:51 AM   #1
Ortizitthisone
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Name: Jim
Join Date: June 26, 2009
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Default So worried about her...

I have an ex-girlfriend. Because of how things ended between us, I don't speak to her very often. But several days ago, she started talking to me, and I decided it couldn't hurt to start talking to her again.

She started telling me about her relationship with her current boyfriend. She said that he had been emotionally abusive throughout their entire relationship. I've known her boyfriend for several years, and I don't trust him any further than I could throw him. And I told her that, but she doesn't listen.

Anyway, she decided that she got sick and tired of the abuse, and she broke up with him (and this was when she started talking to me). The following week, he showed up at her dorm unannounced (he doesn't go to the same school), and started screaming at her. He never got physical, and he left after a few minutes.

The following day, he called her from a bridge, and told her he was going to jump unless he took her back. In order to get him down, she told him she would. She then called campus police at his school. They picked him up and held him for evaluation. They released him later that night, and he tried to kill himself by taking a whole bottle of Tylenol. He called my ex afterward, and told her what he was doing. She convinced him to go to the hospital that night, and he did.

The next day, he told her that the doctors said his liver would probably fail within a few days. Naturally, my ex was devastated about that, but I convinced her to talk to his parents before getting too upset, because she still didn't know whether or not it was true. She called his parents, and they told her that it was a lie, and that he did take some pills, but he was going to be fine.

At this point, red flags were going up for me like crazy. She needs to get a restraining order on this guy. While he never got physical when they were dating, I don't want the first time to be the last, if you know what I mean. He is obviously at his breaking point, and he's proving time and time again how desperate he is.

She needs to not talk to him. That's obvious. Every time I tell her that, she either stops texting or tries to change the subject. Because of that, I think she's still talking to him. I am worried about her physical safety, and I can't go 10 minutes without thinking and worrying about her. I am so scared that he's going to do something to hurt her, or maybe even worse than that. He has a lot of violence in his past, and that scares me a lot. Even though this girl hurt me bad, I still would never wish any harm to come to her. She always told me (and still does) that I'm the best friend she's ever had, but I can't seem to get through to her.

How do I get her to see that this guy is extremely dangerous? What can I do? Help!
--Jim

Hi! I'm Jim. I'm here to help. Please feel free to PM me anytime.
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Old November 25th, 2009, 11:27 PM   #2
natey
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Default Re: So worried about her...

Beat the living shit out of him.

My name is Nate, big town LONDON
PM me to talk or add my msn: [email protected]
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Old November 25th, 2009, 11:55 PM   #3
OneManArmy
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Default Re: So worried about her...

Quote:
Originally Posted by natey View Post
Beat the living shit out of him.
That'll do absolutely shit nothing, and only make things worse. So don't do that. Maybe tell her to talk to his or her parents about it.
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Old November 26th, 2009, 01:31 AM   #4
Ortizitthisone
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Default Re: So worried about her...

Quote:
Originally Posted by natey View Post
Beat the living shit out of him.
Trust me, if I thought that would help in the least, I'd do it.

Hi! I'm Jim. I'm here to help. Please feel free to PM me anytime.
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Old November 26th, 2009, 06:23 AM   #5
Sapphire
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Default Re: So worried about her...

Tbh, if she isn't willing to accept what you are saying then there is nothing you can do.

Be there for her as a friend and support her through this.


~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~

* Nothing in the world has ever been accomplished without passion *
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Old November 26th, 2009, 08:26 AM   #6
overcome.
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Default Re: So worried about her...

If I were to profile somebody like that, then I'd guess they're a very lonely person. They crave and somewhat require attention from people and if they don't get it then they lie to get it or go to lengths to get the attention that other people can't understand. Everybody wants to be noticed, no matter who you are. How you receive the attention is different, like I said people go to different lengths.

How do you approach the situation? In my eyes there's no need for you to have contact with this man. Although your ex-girlfriend is involved with him there's no need for you to be, it's not your business so leave it. Don't get yourself in trouble by fighting this guy, it won't achieve anything, only negative vibes for yourself, a conscience and more trouble maybe. Rise above it, show you're better than that. Advise your ex-girlfriend however you choose to, advise her to stay away for the right reasons.

Sapphire is making good sense, if what you're saying doesn't sink in then to her then don't keep wasting your time. I know that's hard considering you are both friends and have history. But put your feelings aside and don't waste your time. Be there for her as a friend though, she will need your support some time soon. Rise above it, don't do anything brash and think about how your potential actions could have consequences.
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