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How it all started...

Posted September 4th, 2020 at 11:28 AM by cocorayo

Hello internet stranger, you probably don't give a shit about the story of my sexuality, but for those who are for whatever reason interested in it, I'm going to go ahead and type it all. I've never told it to anyone so yeah...

It all started in a football field like this

I gues it all begun in primary school. I was in a catholic school for my first 6 years(Spanish schools work different) and I don't really regret for being there, I learnt there some values that most people nowadays are missing, but back to the thing there, homosexuality was a weird topic. It is not that they were against it, because there were open homosexual teachers there and it wasn't a big deal at all.
So around 3rd grade I had a big "crush" in somebody. I put it with "" because I really liked him but not to the sexual part, basically because at that age we didn't have any idea of that lol.
and I remember perfectly one day when we were playing like wrestling or something like that(it was a while ago don't really remember a lot) and we were so closed that I kissed him on the cheek. At first he pull me out and yelled a big "eeew". At that moment I was so sad because it seemed that what I have done was wrong. Days passed and we weren't talking at all, just playing team sports like soccer and soccer(the only thing people play here xD). One day in PE they couple us two to play tennis and then begun to talk.

He told he was sorry and doesn't like kisses from anyone, but that kiss didn't disgust him at all it was just the first reaction, and also because we were surrounded by friends.
Then I asked him so do you liked it? -He said yes, but we only kiss girls, that's a rule. (To clarify,in Spain and many other Mediterranean countries you usually greet females with kisses, in my case 2, and males with a handshake).
At the end we ended up only us two greeting each other with the 2 kisses which was kind of awkward at first when greeting all our friends with handshake and then giving kisses to him lol, but we said that was like a mafia thing and we turned out to look like the coolest there, from then everyone started giving two kisses for the next couple years lol.

We kept doing the two kisses thing until his mother so us and told off us that wasn't right, and we could end up bad and it's better for you to quit that is not normal. Me in a young age was really impressed and sad after hearing that (and I'm still very sensitive when they tell me off something). It all finished in this sudden way and we were as friend, but just scared if we did something more than that.

I guess that trauma followed me until today.

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  1. Old Comment
    DarkDragon's Forum Picture
    that sucks, i hope you accepted your sexuality and realised that its okay to be gay. Your parents had no right to do that at all :/

    thank you for sharing this with us
    Posted November 8th, 2020 at 02:19 AM by DarkDragon DarkDragon is offline

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