He's driving me mad >.<

[leen]

My ex and me are trying to come together again for some time now... it was a long-distance relationship and quite complicated because he's kind of a nerd (gaming all day and tight as a clam) while I am having depressions and need to talk about everything that's going on inside of me (and him, I need to know what's up). We had arguments every day, both of us we're crying a lot and other things, so it wasn't a very easy story.

Still we loved (and love) each other and want to try again... the problem is that I'm mad about him all the time. It doesn't matter if he really did something wrong or just reacted normal (by his standards), I'd love to shout at him and explode because it's so annoying. I actually don't think it's possible to have a relationship in which one partner is angry all the time... I don't know where it came from, possibly I'm just upset because he's so unresponding, although at the same time I feel it's easier for me to accept it now. Am I just oppressing my anger?

I don't want to quit it, because I love him and he's so important to me... but I think it's quite unfair to him. We talked about it several times and he changed a little, but not too much because he says that's just the way he is. I accept that, I don't want to change him - but the way I feel about it. Is there any way?

Thax for all help and advice. :)

[Eagle63]

First off, long distance typically doesn't work until at least college.

To address your fighting, I was the same. My gf, she was an hour and a half away, bipolar, and sheltered by her parents. I didn't want to end things because once we were done with all of our fighting, I pitied her more than I liked her, but still liked her a lot. I wound up ending it in a blind rage about something else and we didn't talk for two months.

We're friends now, but that is because the past is, well, the past. Stuff happens and it can't be changed. People cant be changed, either. Sometimes two people just dont work and it has to be accepted.

However, a clean slate would be the best way to go if you are still up for giving each other a second chance.

[leen]

Well, he's six hours away... there was some trouble with his ex and his best friend (he was still in love with her, I fell in love with him), but we made it and that's the reason why I think we shouldn't give up... everyone I talked to said their relationship wouldn't have made it under such circumstances, but OURS did - so maybe we're fighters and lovers enough to keep it going? I really don't know...

I told him about me anger and he became very sad because he thought it was something he had said or done, but it wasn't and isn't. Why am I so angry?

[Eagle63]

Well, hats off to you- i thoguht an hour and a half was bad. And you guys still made it. Think about what else has happened to make you angry. Taking it out on loved ones is ALWAYS the wrong way to go.

If you can't find anything, take up drumming. You can make music and you can hit stuff. That's how I started four years ago, and now, I'm the best drumming prodigy my music teachers have seen in the past 15 years.

That happened to work for me. Anger managment works too. Maybe a punching bag?

[leen]

I already thought about a punching back because I'm so aggressive sometimes, but our ceilings are too thin and actually I'm too lazy for sports... and I'm a very bad musician, much too uncoordinated for drums.^^

I've already been to therapy because of my aggressions some years ago but it didn't help at all... I guess I just have to remind myself of my relationship being more important than any unsensible aggressions. But thanx for your advice. :)