How to keep a friend of mine from drinking?

[leen]

Hi everyone

I have a problem concerning a friend of mine... she's 17 and a ''weak'' person, I don't want to insult her but it is true - she lets herself be influenced by absolutely everyone she thinks of as a cool person, she has no self esteem, she behaves like a total sl*t and then complains everyone's slandering about her...

I feel sorry for her, but the prolem is that she never listens to her true friends, which are her cousin, her cousin's best friend and me. She goes to parties every weekend, drowns her sorrows in alcohol and ends up drunken as hell. We try to stop her, keep her from buying drinks, try to make her stay away from parties and don't let guys come to close to her, but she thinks we do it to ruin her evening and always escapes somehow.

Her parents don't know about it, and her cousin and her cousin's best friend don't want me to tell them what's going on. Her older brother, who is drunken every weekend as well but is able to deal with it (in absolut opposite to her) tries to keep her from parties as well and distracts her, but she says she will stop drinking as soon as he does and when we stop smoking.

Last weekend she lost consciousness and was brought to hospital and now the doctor says she has an cirrhosis of the liver, which means she shouldn't drink any alcohol at all anymore. But she doesn't care and just goes on. :(

What can we do to make her see how much she's harming herself? I already thought about telling her parents, even if I lose three friends then because they are mad at me for telling adults about the whole story. Do you think there is any other way, anything that can change her mind?

Thanks for all answers.
Best, leen

[clr9823]

Tell her parents and leave it up to them - short of physically restraining her, there's nothing you can do as it's her life. Telling her parents is about the only thing you can do I'm afraid :(

[scuba steve]

How do her parents not know about her medical condition, surely the hospital would require her parents/guardians to sign her out.

And also, it may seem hard, but you could always take her up on that wager. Why don't you guys put in an effort to stop smoking and say that "if we can so can you." If she fails or passes you up then give her the whole tough love thing of her being weak and killing herself. Which from what i've read is what you truely think of her.

[leen]

you're quite right, scuba steve... the thing is that she says ''i'll stop if you do'' because she knows we won't if we REALLY would, she'd say ''it doesn't matter what you do, it's my life''. i know her for more than 10 years now.

and when she was brought to hospital she ''just'' had an alcohol poisoning, later on her cousin made her see the doctor who found out about the liver cirrhosis... he didn't need to tell her parents.

i'll guess i'll have a final talk to her and then convince the others of telling her parents... at least she respects them, so i guess it'll help... thanx. :)

[scuba steve]

Remember that if she continues what she's doing telling her parents is inevitable for the sake of her own health and safety.

Hopefully you can calm her down though, good luck :)

[leen]

thank you :)

[kai99]

if she does not realize by herself first, i don't think that there's a way.

[leen]

well, i found out that her parents DO know... she just doesn't listen to the anymore when it's about alcohol. but we can't always keep an eye on her, it SUCKS! :(

[Ryunosuke]

Intrest Them In Something Else. Like A Distraction. Or Just Make Them Annoyed With it.
Yeah. Uhhuh. That's What My Ex Girlfriend Did To Stop Me From Drinking. It Worked. :(
Not Anymore Though.