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Totality
April 1st, 2011, 04:29 PM
So here are my 3 poems.

The First 2 were written when I was extremely depressed.

All Feedback please.

I'm Gonna Draw a Picture

Im gonna draw a picture,
A picture with a twist,
Im gonna draw it with a razor-blade,
Im gonna draw it on my wrist.

Coz you see, I may have these problems.
Some people would say,
That these problems rule,
But I say, let them have their way.

I asked for help, I asked for hope
I asked for you to be there,
So much for preaching to a Pope,
Give me a reason to live,

You say you’re there,
Promise me too,
I believed in it all,
I believed in you

You said you loved me,
You still say you do,
You must know the truth,
That I love you too

Now you see,
A proper version,
A real me,
A real person,

For now I wish I could,
Understand, the word you speak
Cut, Slash, Mangle and Maim
Kindly, tell me, why is it weak?

Me? I’ll find something to do
You? I hope that you may too

Lie, tell none you must
I might just believe,
For this may be lust?
Everything seems distant now

Now read those letters,
First of every line,
For the past three verses,
They speak what’s mine,

Because you see,
That this tells a story,
The story of the life, of me
Will you ever see?

Because you know?
This next verse, will speak
About my feelings.
For whatever they may be

Because Im gonna draw a picture,
It’s will have a certain twist,
I will draw it with a razor-blade,
I will draw it on my wrist.

Tomorrow Seems Distant Now

For the life and context,
A different meaning,
Maybe it will change?
If I have a reason?
Live for the moment?
Your all the fucking same,

Fuck this world, end my life,
Read these words,
I’ll get thy knife,
Every One of you is the same,
Never before have I been?
Demanding, Controlling,
Seclusion, is that what I deserve?

What am I now?
Hell, is what I’m in,
Everytime I think,
Remember,
Everytime I talk?

Always the same happens,
Really, everyone is the same ,
Everybody, no different.

You, are you any different?
Or will you be exactly the same?
Understanding? Are you?

Now I found you,
Over the way,
When can I see you?

Whether your there, or
Here, when I need you most,
Everytime I see your
Name sign in,

I give a little whimper,

Never to meet? Nor to greet?
Either I’d come or you would meet?
Even to hold you, to see your smile,
Damnation, I know I’m beat,

Your everything I could want,
Or hope for? Or Need?
Understand me?

Terror, Blood, Cut me free
Harm, Slash, Graze and Chew,
Everytime I realize, it cannot be,

Move on, I must do,
Or May I keep chasing you?
So, you say you love me?
To be honest, I do too.

A secret message, here I have.
Every letter of Every Line,
Read it and understand,
For tomorrow seems distant now.

This next poem was written for school, but im gonna release it here.

Response to Carol Ann's Duffy `We Remember Your Childhood Well.`

Everybody Hurt Me. They left me in the dark.
and argued through til dawn. The man on the moors,
as bad as they come. Locked. Bolted. Shut In.

You. All Questions wern't answered. Was it done to me?
Why did you crush my dreams? I don't remember what you said, but it burned. What was it?

Dragged, Opposed.
You made me wear hideous clothes.
Pictures, You said I looked moving.
Run away. Would of been soothing.
I remember. On this Day.

Memories. The truth lies. I didn't want to go that day.
Those men, older and brutal, dragged, pulled me away.
The sound of their viper tongue. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss

You never wanted me. Sent me away, with people I didn't know.
They were cruel. Evil. Violent. Everything to fear.
No wonder I was brought back in tears.

How could you? Sin. Skidmarks of evil, fire burned to me.
You left me for Hell, wide open. Ready.
I was hated, never loved.
You betrayed me. I remember my childhood well.Let me know what you all think.

Thanks.

NeedyTeen
April 11th, 2011, 09:38 AM
They are all fantastic, absolutely amazing.
"Im gonna draw a picture,
A picture with a twist,
Im gonna draw it with a razor-blade,
Im gonna draw it on my wrist."
That gave me chills. Beautiful.
I truly hope you are no longer depressed, you have great talent, please be happy.

Totality
April 12th, 2011, 05:01 PM
Thanks,

Im good now =]

Great Girl, Great Life =] Everythings going UP!

Spook
April 13th, 2011, 10:03 AM
[CENTER]I'm Gonna Draw a Picture

Im gonna draw a picture,
A picture with a twist,
Im gonna draw it with a razor-blade,
Im gonna draw it on my wrist.

I've heard that somewhere before...very excellent writing

Totality
April 13th, 2011, 02:46 PM
Thanks =] ^^

Roses_Are_Yellow
April 13th, 2011, 07:19 PM
woah, that was so great.

Totality
April 14th, 2011, 12:43 PM
Which One? ^^ Haha :P xD

Roses_Are_Yellow
April 14th, 2011, 05:20 PM
All of them, but my favorite was the first poem :)

moon_lit_angel
April 15th, 2011, 06:15 AM
love them all but again i agree with said above comment "I heard it somewhere before"

I saw it on status shuffle on facebook

Craig1995
April 15th, 2011, 08:42 AM
I luved the first one :):)