Spook
April 1st, 2011, 11:22 AM
I came here...where I normally don't go...to talk about my past experience with bullying. I know, I have already written about this in another thread...but I am going to go into more detail here.
When I was 5, a new family moved into the neighborhood where we lived. The new people had a 3 year old daughter and a 5 year old son (my age). So, obviously, I hung around the son and we would play games. The little 3 year old girl would hang around us and was kind of like a third wheel. One day I noticed the boy beating up on his little sister. I took her side, and protected her from him from then on.
Nikhil.
I didn't know that this word would haunt me for mostly the rest of my life. Because I left him for Naomi, his little sister, he became a bully to me, as well. Needless to say we ran. We would play in the yard, and when we saw him coming we would run. At first it was more of like a game of hide and seek. We ran, and he chased...the normal game of little kids. But as we got older, it got worse. He would call me the most horrible words, send me home crying. Nobody could stick up for me. I worked out plans with Naomi to veer away from him. At home she would have to hide everything valuable she had from him. It was like it was never safe. Over time, it came to her practically living at my house. She would come from the second she got off the bus to dinnertime, and she would even stay for dinner at times. Every weekend we had sleepovers, then she would go to soccer, and hide out at my house once again. It was torture for us.
The verbal abuse and chasing evolved into physical abuse as we got even older. He would chase us and tackle us, push us, punch us, kick us, anything he could do. He became extremely aggresive, and we feared him. I had to protect Naomi more than ever from the physical abuse. One vivid memory in my mind is him chasing her into the road, pushing and pulling at her, and she was crying and screaming. He pushed her to the ground, and took her money and phone. I ran up to him and yelled at him. He went back to pushing her, and I kicked him, freeing her. She ran off crying, and he fought me. It was frightening because he was so much bigger and stronger than me, but I didn't want Naomi, two years younger than both of us, to suffer.
It only got worse. As he once again got older, his abuse was less aimed torwards Naomi and I, but more torward me. This was the time his hormones were kicking in, and he had more physical attraction. He would open the door of the bathroom with a penny when I was showering at sleepovers, try to pants me, and he made comments about my appearance. He was the one who gave me the idea to shave my legs at 10 years old, then to shave my arms at 12.
The worst memory I ever had was when Naomi and I turned the sprinklers on to play. It's clear in my mind. The boys were out playing football, and we ran out in bikinis when the water started up. They played football soaking wet, and we thought our plan backfired because of their fun. But Nikhil got payback. He pulled down the back of my bikini, and all the boys there laughed. (I held up the front) It was humiliating, anyhow. I ran through the forests soaking wet all the way to my house, sobbing.
I finally told my parents about the abuse. My dad had the brilliant idea of making a "contract" that Nikhil and I couldn't talk to each other, take a person out of the other person's group that were hanging out, or be in the same room. Of course, that just led to when I walked by on the sidewalk, Nikhil yelling: "You can't be here, Caitlin!!!" That thoroughloy pissed me off. I mean, I still LIVED in the neighborhood at the time. He still insulted me, took people out of my group, and all that retarded crap that he was oh so capable of.
Most of this changed when I moved to a new neighborhood 5 minutes away. I don't see him often at all, though Naomi is still my best friend and I see her alot. When I do see him, he acts nice, but I always am silent, not saying a word to him, glaring. He acts like nothing has ever happened. I am deprived of going anywhere with my friend when he was there--and now it's almost as if he rules my life.
Naomi's grandmother once said "Are you sure you're allowed to be here with Nikhil in the neighborhood." When I was hanging out with Naomi. I snapped: "I used to live here, you know." It's just, whenever somebody asks me about my "allowance" to be somewhere, I get pissed, because it almost seems as if he RUNS MY FREAKING LIFE. :mad: Sorry. xD Anyways, this was just a vent.
When I was 5, a new family moved into the neighborhood where we lived. The new people had a 3 year old daughter and a 5 year old son (my age). So, obviously, I hung around the son and we would play games. The little 3 year old girl would hang around us and was kind of like a third wheel. One day I noticed the boy beating up on his little sister. I took her side, and protected her from him from then on.
Nikhil.
I didn't know that this word would haunt me for mostly the rest of my life. Because I left him for Naomi, his little sister, he became a bully to me, as well. Needless to say we ran. We would play in the yard, and when we saw him coming we would run. At first it was more of like a game of hide and seek. We ran, and he chased...the normal game of little kids. But as we got older, it got worse. He would call me the most horrible words, send me home crying. Nobody could stick up for me. I worked out plans with Naomi to veer away from him. At home she would have to hide everything valuable she had from him. It was like it was never safe. Over time, it came to her practically living at my house. She would come from the second she got off the bus to dinnertime, and she would even stay for dinner at times. Every weekend we had sleepovers, then she would go to soccer, and hide out at my house once again. It was torture for us.
The verbal abuse and chasing evolved into physical abuse as we got even older. He would chase us and tackle us, push us, punch us, kick us, anything he could do. He became extremely aggresive, and we feared him. I had to protect Naomi more than ever from the physical abuse. One vivid memory in my mind is him chasing her into the road, pushing and pulling at her, and she was crying and screaming. He pushed her to the ground, and took her money and phone. I ran up to him and yelled at him. He went back to pushing her, and I kicked him, freeing her. She ran off crying, and he fought me. It was frightening because he was so much bigger and stronger than me, but I didn't want Naomi, two years younger than both of us, to suffer.
It only got worse. As he once again got older, his abuse was less aimed torwards Naomi and I, but more torward me. This was the time his hormones were kicking in, and he had more physical attraction. He would open the door of the bathroom with a penny when I was showering at sleepovers, try to pants me, and he made comments about my appearance. He was the one who gave me the idea to shave my legs at 10 years old, then to shave my arms at 12.
The worst memory I ever had was when Naomi and I turned the sprinklers on to play. It's clear in my mind. The boys were out playing football, and we ran out in bikinis when the water started up. They played football soaking wet, and we thought our plan backfired because of their fun. But Nikhil got payback. He pulled down the back of my bikini, and all the boys there laughed. (I held up the front) It was humiliating, anyhow. I ran through the forests soaking wet all the way to my house, sobbing.
I finally told my parents about the abuse. My dad had the brilliant idea of making a "contract" that Nikhil and I couldn't talk to each other, take a person out of the other person's group that were hanging out, or be in the same room. Of course, that just led to when I walked by on the sidewalk, Nikhil yelling: "You can't be here, Caitlin!!!" That thoroughloy pissed me off. I mean, I still LIVED in the neighborhood at the time. He still insulted me, took people out of my group, and all that retarded crap that he was oh so capable of.
Most of this changed when I moved to a new neighborhood 5 minutes away. I don't see him often at all, though Naomi is still my best friend and I see her alot. When I do see him, he acts nice, but I always am silent, not saying a word to him, glaring. He acts like nothing has ever happened. I am deprived of going anywhere with my friend when he was there--and now it's almost as if he rules my life.
Naomi's grandmother once said "Are you sure you're allowed to be here with Nikhil in the neighborhood." When I was hanging out with Naomi. I snapped: "I used to live here, you know." It's just, whenever somebody asks me about my "allowance" to be somewhere, I get pissed, because it almost seems as if he RUNS MY FREAKING LIFE. :mad: Sorry. xD Anyways, this was just a vent.