clr9823
March 29th, 2011, 05:32 PM
Well, my parents and I have been going through a rough spot for the past year or so, and I'm now genuinely drifting apart from them.
The background to this is that at age 8, they separated, and at age 9 I moved from one of the best areas of town into one of the scummiest (the reason wasn't my mum's fault). My dad, my brother and I all really disliked the idea, and we could have got a flat very near (in fact, nearer) the school where I go to, except my mum insisted on a garden. So, basically, I've been isolated from my friends outside of school time from Primary 5 up until Secondary 4. This wasn't so much of a problem until about S2, when I actually wanted to be out doing stuff with my friends, and my mum kept and kept saying she'd move us but never even called up the estate agents.
This wasn't even that bad though, because by now I'd be staying with my dad in town at weekends so I had some social contact. But then the shit really hit the fan: in the space of three months, my mum lost the car (because she NEVER opens her F***ing mail, so didn't see the insurance company needed a form filled out to renew our insurance, so then the police pulled us over), and then my cat died (my cat was my best friend, I was distraught).
But even through that, I managed to try and stick it out with my parents, trying to keep my temper under control and be supportive. And despite the fact that they both smoke around me but not others, despite the fact that I didn't have a house to truly call my own, despite the fact my mum was taking a minimum of 2 holidays a year on the expensive of her boyfriend despite never taking me on one, I tried to keep it cool with them. But then in the space of a weekend, my dad managed to ruin it.
We were having pizza (celebrating my good exam results) and he sprung on me that my mum did coke a while back (startled, but we're not perfect, I can understand that) and that I came within about 5 mins of... being aborted. Yes, my dad, over a celebratory dinner, told me in precise detail how close I came to never existing. It's driven me so far apart, and it's all I can think about when I speak to her about anything.
On top of all this, I basically have no home to call my own (only places to stay) and I have THE MOST IMPORTANT exams of our school system coming up in about two months, and right now I'm so down I don't even have the will to revise. Any time my mum tries to talk, she always says the stupidest fucking things, I get annoyed but just go silent, she gets pissed off and leaves, and whenever I try to talk she just cuts me off on the first tangent and never lets me get my point in, so I just get more stressed. And when she feels she needs to make me hear something, she will physically hold me in the room by blocking the doorway or holding onto me - I'm not proud to admit I have come so close to punching her out of the way.
I just hate them - they always bullshit, they always bitch about each other but never recognise their own flaws, they constantly criticize, they never even accept that their actions could negatively affect me and they never ever confront each other about the problems I raise with them. I don't even know if I want advice, I just want somewhere to vent this, cause I know this is the sort of shit that my friends would just laugh at :(
The background to this is that at age 8, they separated, and at age 9 I moved from one of the best areas of town into one of the scummiest (the reason wasn't my mum's fault). My dad, my brother and I all really disliked the idea, and we could have got a flat very near (in fact, nearer) the school where I go to, except my mum insisted on a garden. So, basically, I've been isolated from my friends outside of school time from Primary 5 up until Secondary 4. This wasn't so much of a problem until about S2, when I actually wanted to be out doing stuff with my friends, and my mum kept and kept saying she'd move us but never even called up the estate agents.
This wasn't even that bad though, because by now I'd be staying with my dad in town at weekends so I had some social contact. But then the shit really hit the fan: in the space of three months, my mum lost the car (because she NEVER opens her F***ing mail, so didn't see the insurance company needed a form filled out to renew our insurance, so then the police pulled us over), and then my cat died (my cat was my best friend, I was distraught).
But even through that, I managed to try and stick it out with my parents, trying to keep my temper under control and be supportive. And despite the fact that they both smoke around me but not others, despite the fact that I didn't have a house to truly call my own, despite the fact my mum was taking a minimum of 2 holidays a year on the expensive of her boyfriend despite never taking me on one, I tried to keep it cool with them. But then in the space of a weekend, my dad managed to ruin it.
We were having pizza (celebrating my good exam results) and he sprung on me that my mum did coke a while back (startled, but we're not perfect, I can understand that) and that I came within about 5 mins of... being aborted. Yes, my dad, over a celebratory dinner, told me in precise detail how close I came to never existing. It's driven me so far apart, and it's all I can think about when I speak to her about anything.
On top of all this, I basically have no home to call my own (only places to stay) and I have THE MOST IMPORTANT exams of our school system coming up in about two months, and right now I'm so down I don't even have the will to revise. Any time my mum tries to talk, she always says the stupidest fucking things, I get annoyed but just go silent, she gets pissed off and leaves, and whenever I try to talk she just cuts me off on the first tangent and never lets me get my point in, so I just get more stressed. And when she feels she needs to make me hear something, she will physically hold me in the room by blocking the doorway or holding onto me - I'm not proud to admit I have come so close to punching her out of the way.
I just hate them - they always bullshit, they always bitch about each other but never recognise their own flaws, they constantly criticize, they never even accept that their actions could negatively affect me and they never ever confront each other about the problems I raise with them. I don't even know if I want advice, I just want somewhere to vent this, cause I know this is the sort of shit that my friends would just laugh at :(