If I don't go back to the hospital...

[Magenta]

... I will find a way and FORCE myself to kill myself. I'm sick of this. I'm going to my doctor tomorrow and demanding they take me back. It's an acute care unit but I don't care. I can't breathe. I have the cuts on my arms to show that I'm not doing well. I have no friends. It was just confirmed that my only friends now hate me and I just want to die. My parents won't call my psych.

[Syvelocin]

... I don't hate you. No one on here hates you.

I know it's difficult, but I'm going to have to encourage that, unless you are wanting to go there to get better, $1500 a day on your mental health insurance bill isn't worth it. I like to think that the hospital is this great place, really. But it's there for people who want some help, it's not there to be a YMCA for teens.

If you want to go, go. Tell your doctor that. I'm just going to say, hospitalization can become an addiction itself, a security blanket. I know what it's like. About a couple months after I get out, I start having dreams about going back, and this longing for it that continues to grow until I give in to it. And I promptly regret it when I'm in there. Though it all depends on your situation. I met a guy who was there partly because we wanted to wait out his eighteenth birthday so he didn't have to live at home anymore. I guess that's a way to do it, though I don't necessarily think it's the best way.

I just only wish for what's best for you, whatever that may be. I don't know. But I hope you have a better clue than I do.

[Alexithymia]

Like Rith said, most people here don't hate you.

Also, the hospital might be what you need, but it might not. Rith pretty much said everything, so I'm not going to reiterate it. Just be safe.

[HellHound]

Why not give it a try and start again?Make new friends with similar hobbies and fck your parents if they don't care.I didn't choose mine either.Good luck onwards and wish you a good headstart :)