Spook
March 28th, 2011, 11:22 AM
I'm sorry but this is going to be a super long post. So...the first thing I want to talk about is my past. Well, when I was 10 days old, I was adopted. Why? My birthmother was very poor, and couldn't afford to take care of me. When I was in her stomach, she was smoking, drinking, and taking drugs. My mom told me that my birthmother had called me a hero because I was what had helped her conquer her addictions and stop, for my health. However, she learned that I was inside of her too late. I was born with problems in my kidneys, bowels, and brain. I developed many mental illnesses, and I had to take medicine for throwing up and constapation. When I was born, my birthmother wanted to name me Oxanna Lynette. My parents now (adoptive) didn't prefer this name so they named me Caitlin (the lin for lynette) Mackenzie **** (my last name I am not telling). So...my birthmother, as we last heard, lives in a trailer. Alot of my friends tell me that it's sad that I was adopted, but if I hadn't been I wouldn't be living in the beautiful house I am, I wouldn't have my family I have now, and I wouldn't be on VT! My birthmother gave me a few things when I was adopted...a stuffed bear, a snowflake made out of plastic six-pack soda holders, and a doll she knitted. (She was an artist) I don't know her last name, exactly where she is, or any of that information, but when I am of age (18) I think that I might meet her. I know that she has a son now, so I have a half brother. I got a letter from my birth grandmother when I was a baby, and I have a picture of the back of my birthmother's head, but that's all. I don't know who my birthfather is, they were never married and split up. I do know that my birthmother's first name is Sharon, though. That's pretty much all I know. I have never talked to her, wrote to her (well not counting the time I tried to send a letter but didn't know her address when I was a toddler). I don't miss her, or even have any love for her, because I have never met her. I do have a longing to know who I came from, however. Feel free to ask me any questions if you want.
So, now to my second topic. My friend's mom. Well, her parents split up, and her mom got another boyfriend, they got married, and they also split up, then she got a new boyfriend and her ex-husband is sending her love letters. My friend read me one and it said: "I like touching your butt." Grosss. Anyways, I have never really liked my best friend's mom. It started when I was little and wore a swimsuit when I was taking a bath with my best friend at a sleepover. She started crying, and her mom made me take my swimsuit off. I was devestated, but I had to. Then, when my best friend's brother started being a bully to me, she always blamed it on me because he would tell her all these shitty lies about me. He would beat me up, pants me, spit on me, all these horrible things. I hated him, I feared him, and you know what? I was blamed. He is older and bigger than me. It was ridiculous. If he was tackling me and beating me up, I would defend myself, and she would get pissed at ME. WTF? Sorry, I just can't help remembering me. Okay, so sure, she started believing when my bff started sticking up for me, but then she said I couldn't ever hang out at my Naomi's house because I "caused probems." UGHHHH. So...another thing that really PISSES me off is that when I told my best friend about my family business (like mental illnesses of my siblings), she would tell her mom and then her mom would tell the WHOLE FREAKING NEIGHBORHOOD. So I had kids laughing and calling me a freak and beating up on me because they heard the stories about me and my siblings. Then, when I talked about how mad I was, my mom started saying.."Oh, you need to have respect for your elders" and BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! How am I to respect someone who acts like a 9 year old?!?!?!?!?! And to add to all this crap, she doesn't even watch her own kids!!! Naomi is always fed and watched after and payed for by her grandmother. When her grandma dies, who's gonna take care of her? Her brother??? If that plays out, she'll be dead when her mom gets home from work! Ugh.
Ayways, now I have to roll out some steam on Nikhil, Naomi's brother. So...he will always blame me for things I don't do, shoot at me with airsoft guns, cuss me out, pants me in front of other guys, and pretty much HUMILIATE me. My dad made this "contract" thing where he's not allowed to take anybody out of our "group" when were hanging out, and were not supposed to be around each other. That just made it FREAKING WORSE. I would walk by his house and he would yell from the porch..."You aren't allowed to be here, Caitlin!!!" Every. Single. Time. I. Walked. By. He would tease and tease. So here's something that happened way back before all this crap. He was shooting at me with his airsoft gun and teasing me, calling me names, calling my birthmom a black whore, and I lost it. I was in my other best friend's (a guy) driveway, and he had a pair of scissors on his dumpster. I grabbed them, and went mental. I was crying and screaming at him and calling him all the worst names I could think of, holding the scissors in front of me and walking torwards him. He was laughing, but I knew he was scared. My best friend (guy) was standing there looking at me in such an odd way. Sophie, my friend's sister, ran inside and told her mom on me. Her mom came out and saw me walking hysterically torwards Nikhil with a pair of scissors, and she pulled them out of my hands. She seperated us. Luckily, she took my side. I was crying hard, and Naomi hugged me. The guys and girls were seperated. I remember those words when I said I was going to kill him with those scissors. I really felt the anger, the hate. I don't know what would have happened if Ms. Sandy hadn't come out. I don't know what to feel typing this...this is really hard to do...but I needed to let off some steam. Thanks for reading, if you bothered.
So, now to my second topic. My friend's mom. Well, her parents split up, and her mom got another boyfriend, they got married, and they also split up, then she got a new boyfriend and her ex-husband is sending her love letters. My friend read me one and it said: "I like touching your butt." Grosss. Anyways, I have never really liked my best friend's mom. It started when I was little and wore a swimsuit when I was taking a bath with my best friend at a sleepover. She started crying, and her mom made me take my swimsuit off. I was devestated, but I had to. Then, when my best friend's brother started being a bully to me, she always blamed it on me because he would tell her all these shitty lies about me. He would beat me up, pants me, spit on me, all these horrible things. I hated him, I feared him, and you know what? I was blamed. He is older and bigger than me. It was ridiculous. If he was tackling me and beating me up, I would defend myself, and she would get pissed at ME. WTF? Sorry, I just can't help remembering me. Okay, so sure, she started believing when my bff started sticking up for me, but then she said I couldn't ever hang out at my Naomi's house because I "caused probems." UGHHHH. So...another thing that really PISSES me off is that when I told my best friend about my family business (like mental illnesses of my siblings), she would tell her mom and then her mom would tell the WHOLE FREAKING NEIGHBORHOOD. So I had kids laughing and calling me a freak and beating up on me because they heard the stories about me and my siblings. Then, when I talked about how mad I was, my mom started saying.."Oh, you need to have respect for your elders" and BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! How am I to respect someone who acts like a 9 year old?!?!?!?!?! And to add to all this crap, she doesn't even watch her own kids!!! Naomi is always fed and watched after and payed for by her grandmother. When her grandma dies, who's gonna take care of her? Her brother??? If that plays out, she'll be dead when her mom gets home from work! Ugh.
Ayways, now I have to roll out some steam on Nikhil, Naomi's brother. So...he will always blame me for things I don't do, shoot at me with airsoft guns, cuss me out, pants me in front of other guys, and pretty much HUMILIATE me. My dad made this "contract" thing where he's not allowed to take anybody out of our "group" when were hanging out, and were not supposed to be around each other. That just made it FREAKING WORSE. I would walk by his house and he would yell from the porch..."You aren't allowed to be here, Caitlin!!!" Every. Single. Time. I. Walked. By. He would tease and tease. So here's something that happened way back before all this crap. He was shooting at me with his airsoft gun and teasing me, calling me names, calling my birthmom a black whore, and I lost it. I was in my other best friend's (a guy) driveway, and he had a pair of scissors on his dumpster. I grabbed them, and went mental. I was crying and screaming at him and calling him all the worst names I could think of, holding the scissors in front of me and walking torwards him. He was laughing, but I knew he was scared. My best friend (guy) was standing there looking at me in such an odd way. Sophie, my friend's sister, ran inside and told her mom on me. Her mom came out and saw me walking hysterically torwards Nikhil with a pair of scissors, and she pulled them out of my hands. She seperated us. Luckily, she took my side. I was crying hard, and Naomi hugged me. The guys and girls were seperated. I remember those words when I said I was going to kill him with those scissors. I really felt the anger, the hate. I don't know what would have happened if Ms. Sandy hadn't come out. I don't know what to feel typing this...this is really hard to do...but I needed to let off some steam. Thanks for reading, if you bothered.