I don't understand but I hate it.

[screamtobeheard]

So I restricted for a long time and lost a whole bunch of weight. My ribs and hipbones were visible standing and protrudes when I laid down. But I still wanted to lose more. But I started eating. It's awful. I've gained all my weight back and it makes me want to kill myself, but I can't die fat. Technically I'm "healthy" but healthy feels fat. Healthy looks fat, and at is not okay. I have to lose this weight back off. And then some. I want to see my ribs again. Is that so terrible?

[justmehere]

kinda,it's a problem. you could make yourself sick. healthy isn't fat. healthy is beautiful. and you're beautiful!

[Fiction]

I feel exactly the same Amanda. I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. i guess what i'm doing is just avoiding any thoughts about eating. About my weight. I'm avoiding the scales and just not letting myself think about any of it. I know it's hard. Always here if you want to talk :)