Hiding? Or gone?

[Alexithymia]

I'm going to be diagnosed with depression, it's just a matter of time. Now, right now I'm wondering if I'm hiding from my depression or if it's gone for now. And I know I'm going to be diagnosed because my father has severe depression and my mother has chronic depression. It's hard to escape genes.

But... I'm happy. Honestly, truly, and fully. But when I look at myself OBJECTIVELY, I realize I'm a failure. Or, pretty damn close. I mean, I'm still trying hard not to be. I'm pushing in what I excel in, and I'm exploring what I don't know. But... I just think that no matter what, I'm going to be less than my peers. And because of that, I just want to hide.

Now, onto a point that I'm more... touchy with. I'm a homosexual. Now, I'm not sure if I enjoy this or not, but I think I'm happy with myself. It's just those FUCKING kids who have no FUCKING respect for others. I mean, my best friend know's I'm gay and still using language that's offensive! Not directed at me, of course, but at others. I can never bring myself to tell to him because of my ego/depression problem in the previous paragraph.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

[music is my soul]

first of all your not a failure and no where close to it. and we all have "those fucking kids" in our lives. its just one of those things that come with life. and just because your gay doesnt need to change everything. its just who you are(im not gay so if im missing something sry).

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

on the topic of stupid kids calling every thing gay or calling every one a faggot i know how that feels but unlike you i'm not strong enough to come out so every time i here that i think "omg they know they know"

If you don't think your depressed then don't let people tell you you are its just a label