Self written lyrics, think there any good? Appreciate your opinions

[Raiders]

I wrote this...
Landslide
Another day passes me by
And as I sit and reflect, I think
What have I done with my life?
Loneliness is at my side, my only true companion
I've lived for nothing, and I feel i'll die the same
I sit on a snow covered hill top, surrounded by trees
The view of the world is below me, at my dispense
Yet the only thing I feel is, im alone. And the
scars you've left all over me, they haunt me.
I feel hopeless
I feel scared
I feel all alone
I pause and reflect, my depression is all thats left to feel
You came and I felt happy
You left and I feel desperate, and aaaall alone
with no help coming, the happy feeling
left, but the loneliness remains
Digging a big black hole inside of me
I'm lost, and I cant find a direction
with no hope, I roam endlessly
Stuck inside of this, this thing that is...me
I feel hopeless
I feel scared
I feel all alone
I pause and reflect, my depression is all thats left to feel
I bring myself down, and I dont know
how to rise above
I am lost
"And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills,
till the landslide brought me down"
Theres a whole other world, going on outside of me
And then theres my world, me crawled
up inside myself hurt
These two worlds are very distant and seperated
but so close and inevitably linked
In my world im withdrawn
from all the nonsense around me
My inner hurts, distract me from reality
I feel hopeless
I feel scared
I feel all alone
I pause and reflect, my depression is all thats left to feel
I want nothing else
but to crawl in bed and die
I tried my best to love
but was met with nothing in return
I tried my best to express, whoooo I am
but everyone, including you
gave me nothing but rejection
You all pushed me away
So i've given up hope
of ever feeling like I did
So as I lie in bed, know there is no return
I was pushed to the edge, so off the edge I go
I feel hopeless
I feel scared
I feel all alone
I pause and reflect, my depression is all thats left to feel
The world does nothing, but laugh in your face
you express who you are
All the pain and sorrow
you let it all out, and the world spits it back
in your face
So next time hide it
bury it down deep
But all it does, is cut you down deep
and make it all easier for when the
next landslide comes along
I feel hopeless
I feel scared
I feel all alone
I pause and reflect, my depression is all thats left to feel

I was feeling depressed one day and wrote this down off the top of my head in 2 of my 6 classes...let me know what you think

[Daniel_]

Sounds like a poem, not a song.

[Raiders]

Well either one, whatever you wanna call it. I had a song in mind when i wrote it, but i guess it can be both

[Daniel_]

Way to long to be a song, unless your the band who writes those, oh-my-god-does-this-ever-end, 10 minute songs that get quite annoying after the first 4 and a half minutes.

[deadpie]

Way to long to be a song, unless your the band who writes those, oh-my-god-does-this-ever-end, 10 minute songs that get quite annoying after the first 4 and a half minutes.

Says you. Sleeping In Traffic by Beardfish has about six pages of lyrics and the song is about 35-40 minutes. It's also one of the funniest, must epic songs ever. But whatever, I guess nickelback is somehow, I don't know how, but is somehow more talented by putting a dime effort in making music. Also, taking the fact that one of your favorite bands is Disturbed, I'm taking you don't know or care much about music structure much sense you think all long songs are boring and annoying.

Uh, the poem could be better with better description, like try not to use words like "helpless, alone, scared". Try to be more creative with describing things. Although, it's not as bad as some of the stuff in the Open Book. Not saying it's bad, it's just meh.

[Aves]

But whatever, I guess nickelback is somehow, I don't know how, but is somehow more talented by putting a dime effort in making music.

Put in a dime, get a nickle back

:D

[1_21Guns]

artwork :arrow: open book

[Daniel_]

Says you. Sleeping In Traffic by Beardfish has about six pages of lyrics and the song is about 35-40 minutes. It's also one of the funniest, must epic songs ever. But whatever, I guess nickelback is somehow, I don't know how, but is somehow more talented by putting a dime effort in making music. Also, taking the fact that one of your favorite bands is Disturbed, I'm taking you don't know or care much about music structure much sense you think all long songs are boring and annoying.



Well, didn't necessarily say all long songs are boring, because some are quite complex and have diverse lyrics full of meaningful content and phrases, however when you look at bands like, well for example, Avenged Sevenfold. They have songs that run nearly 7-8 minutes, and it's really not very necessary, and it seems like they just dragged it out and repeated quite a bit of lyrics, and it eventually gets way to repetitive for my likes. And also, i'm not typically one to break down my music on a molecular level. If it sounds good and has meaning, i'll listen to it.

[Raiders]

oh ok

[manda-panda]

i like it just the way it is :]

[Raiders]

Thank you :)

[Dack]

Would make a good scream song ...I like it :)

[Raiders]

Thank you guys :)