Fuck fuck fuck.

[Magenta]

Sam,

Stop. Stop it. Stop it! Leave me alone! Stop caring! It's OVER. O-V-E-R. Please stop it. Stop hurting me more.

God, I only want to be with you. That's all I want. But we know it won't work. I live over an hour away now. I'm done with the chapter of my life near you. I'm gone.

Sam, I love you. It hurts so much to tell you I don't want to see you. But how can this work? We're sixteen. We won't be in love forever. No matter how much I dream and even though I wish your words were honest when you said you'd wait for me, I can see reality.

I have your watch still. It might be stained with blood from carving your name into my arm. I miss you. I just want a hug. I want to be close to you. I can't though.

I don't even love myself, how can I love you? I use you. Relationships at this age are a game for me... but you're real and that hurts.

I'm so sorry, Sam. I love you. I'm sorry.

JoJo.

AAAAAAAAAARGGGH. *cries and sobs and screams*

[music is my soul]

okay hold on slow the fuck down. its not over first of all and if you really love sam you wouldnt do this. what do you think sam would want? not me not the next person not your parents but sam. yo need to talk to some one. it doesnt have to be a therapist or any one lik that it could be me the next person sam. its your choice. this isnt the end okay. if you give up now you are going somewhere worse than this place. i know hard to imagine but if you do it your going to hell no doubt about it. tell which is better sticking it out with sam or giving up now and going to hell. its your choice. try to make the right one.

here to talk when ever you need to onr want to. i swear.

[Magenta]

I just want to be able to move on. I don't want my choices always haunting me. I want to go to school and not always think of him, what could have been (and what likely wouldn't have been anyway) and just always regretting everything I do.

I'm not suicidal, just angry and in crisis mode. I can't think straight, my head is spinning and I'm trying to pretend for my mum that everything is fine. God, why does all of this happen to me!?

EDIT: He said I could keep his watch... *cries*

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

I'm sorry ifyou need to talk more you know where to find me
also if this is what you want it's the right choice

[Nevermore]

Put all of his belongings in a box and put it away in the bottom of your closet or something. Get everything that reminds you of him out.

After that call a girl friend and hang out with her. See if she can spend the night or something. Give each other make overs and bake your favorite treats and take photos. Do things you love to do.
OR........
If you don't feel like doing the above. Get into comfy clothes, watch a movie, cry, and snuggle with a stuffed animal.

Try to stay around family. When I have urges, I stay with my family, because I won't do it in front of them.

I'm here for you <3333333