She's everywhere

[Syvelocin]

Granted, I probably spent too much time on my computer today. But this is so insane.

Her face is in every corner. I feel the sheets moving, but they stay in one place. She's everywhere, out the window, behind the waste bin, behind that chair, and at the same time waiting for me out in the hallway if I feel like leaving. Surely in the bathroom mirror as well.

And my heart is pounding. I know none of this is real but god. Leslie's bubble of light isn't working because I can't think straight. I know it works, I just can't get it.

It is way too early in the night for this to be happening. Five hours till sunrise. That's way too long to wait. I wish the odds of someone replying to this at this hour was much greater. I really don't know what else to do

[Nevermore]

Rith she's not there. I know that's hard to comprehend, but keep telling yourself that. Try methods of grounding yourself. My psycologist recommends dumping cold water on my head, or meditation. Keep telling yourself she's not there, and you're going to be okay. (huggs)

[Syvelocin]

I ended up staying up until sunrise, which is an automatic relief. I have an issue with paranoia/hallucinations and night time. They almost always go together. I'm not afraid of the dark, I guess it's just the atmosphere. All the shit that goes down in horror films happens in dark, abandoned houses, dark seemingly vacant hospitals, etc. I guess that's why I have that issue. And I can't see my surroundings as well as I can in light, which freaks me out even more.

I can't do the water because I can't leave the room. And though I do meditation myself, I can't close my eyes.

[Myrnodin]

Rith she's not there. I know that's hard to comprehend, but keep telling yourself that. Try methods of grounding yourself. My psycologist recommends dumping cold water on my head, or meditation. Keep telling yourself she's not there, and you're going to be okay. (huggs)

Im a chicken when it comes to cold water, so i wouldnt even try that. but about meditation: There isnt really the need to close your eyes, thats what movies show you but its not necessary. Meditation is about the mind, not the body. Closed eyes are meant to increase the focus of your attention in your own body, but if you practice a bit (when its daylight) you can focus on your body without closing your eyes. (You must focus your sight in a point not far from your body tho) Focusing on your breath is usually the easiest thing, just try to make every breath a conscious move. And you will slowly start tranquilizing.

Sometimes the trick is not to make hallucinations go away, but to make them easier to carry. Meditation can help a lot in this sense.

[Spook]

I'm sorry, I don't exactly understand who "she" is, but I have an idea. Take a hot bath, do something fun, call a friend, anything to distract you. You'll be okay. :) With love, Caitlin

[Syvelocin]

I meditate with my eyes close, much easier to focus since I have a tiny bit of an attention problem. No, not ADD though. It's just that focusing on something when my mind is somewhere else is impossible for me.

She's like this... I don't know how to describe her. I've been seeing her since I was kid. I guess the best way to describe her is a sort of demon-like paranormal thing... which is a weird description because I don't believe in demons and I'm neutral on ghosts. She makes these noises that freak me out. If I close my eyes, she'll kill me. I have to keep her in my sight constantly, otherwise she might sneak up on me.

Take a hot bath, do something fun, call a friend, anything to distract you.

I can't leave my room, because she's in the hallway. And the bathroom mirror, closet, behind the shower curtain... bathrooms aren't my favourite. Nothing fun to do when it's early morning and you're in bed trying to go to sleep. All my friends are asleep as well. I don't have any psychotic/insomniac friends up this late.

She wasn't here last night or tonight. I might be speaking too soon for tonight, but it seems to be fine. It's 4:30am, she usually shows up at around two or three.