lost in the dark

[SadisticAngels]

i just recently found out i have depresion and im not sure what to do i can hardly get out of bed in the mornings and i dont ever feel like doing any thing nothing makes me happy any more. i think my mums worried but she never bothers to talk to me about anything i think she wants to put me on meds but im scared i wont get a say in it. she says that when i was cutting a while back that i was just trying to get attention and was a stupid girl it seems like she dosnt care any more so plz any advice on anything would be great i need help:confused:

[derkderpderp]

hey, first of all, well done for making the huge step of coming on here for advice, this takes a lot of courage, which you most definitely have.

Now about your mum, maybe she was saying things like 'youre attention seeking' because it may be hard for her to accept that her daughter feels the need to self harm?that as a mother she cant keep you safe?
idk that may be it, but i think the reason why she said the things she does is purely down to her not wanting you to be hurt and her feeling afraid that if she tries to help it may lead to you getting worse? (parents sometimes freak out, she is after all your mother, so idk maybe she is seeing the bad side of things but slightly over exaggerated?because she cares so much?)

Now depression in itself sucks.
And being diagnosed as clinically depressed sucks more because it seems more final, more absolute, more dreadful and real, even when you hope upon hope that it isnt real, that its just a bad batch right?
But, if you dont want the medication that your mother may want to put you on, then talk to someone in your family?or in school perhaps?someone you can trust, someone who can work around YOU, someone who has to make sure youre ok? like a teacher or a tutor, or any older siblings, or even your mum.
If you confide in them about what makes you self harm, about whats getting you so down, about why you feel like sleeping and hiding away from the world then they will be more inclined to help, because if you went to them, they will be thinking 'ok shes trusted me enough to tell me all of this, and its learly getting to her, so i have to help her, i want to help her, because she trusts me and values me as a friend or whatever'.

eep im sorry if this all seems a bit weird, and it is hard confiding in people, but i can promise you that it does feel better afterwards.
please feel free to pm me anytime at all, i hope my advice helps
<3

[1_21Guns]

Pretty much like Habib said, people say things like that because they aren't capable of understanding how, what and why people can feel like that, and why they could possibly want to hurt themselves because of it. It's actually quite a "natural" reaction for non-self harmers to have, very few people have the capability to understand depression and self harm without experience themselves. She does care, she's just afraid, just like you. She doesn't understand where she possibly went wrong for her little girl to feel like this, and now she doesn't know what to do about it. You'll always get a choice in if you want to go on meds or not, she can't force you and a doctor can only strongly advice you, meds aren't the only way to tackle depression.
I'll tell you what my mum said when she saw my cuts on my arm two summers ago (and she's never questioned anything since, still doesn't know what I've been though/am goign through) "you're going to the doctors if you starting that crack lady." she thinks self harmers are insane. why? because she doesn't understand, and because people are afraid of what they don't understand.

Depression isn't forever, yeah, it feels like you're trapped in that bottomless pit of complete emptiness, but you're not. Being diagnosed is a very big step, and you're a very brave girl. If you don't want to go on meds, discuss other options which are open for you, as soon as you want to get better you can do, you just have to want it, nobody is going to force you into anything, okay?

if you need to talk don't be scared to PM me sweetie :hug3:

[SadisticAngels]

thanx you guys ill seriously consider what youve said im lucky i was told about this site thanx a lot :)