lolwhat.

[1_21Guns]

I've finally reached a weight I never have before, the difference being because I've put it on. In a way I feel better, but then I don't, because I know it's the result of binging, and I know one day it's going to hit back on me. I keep telling myself, oh stop eating next week, it's only one week. But it's always only one week, and weeks turn into months, then I end up scary skinny again, and I scare myself, so I binge again, then it all goes around again. I hate myself, in all honesty I hate my body. My stomach bloats loads, and there's more fat on it than ever, I don't feel comfortable in those tight t-shirts I always had on last summer, I feel fat. I hate this. I hate what I've done to myself.

[screamtobeheard]

This is exactly how I feel. It's hard to understand, because it seems like not that long ago, I had to force myself to eat. But now I just keep telling myself to stop eating "next week," or, "just restrict tomorrow." But it just keeps pushing and pushing and making me hate myself more and more.

I completely understand where you're coming from, so if you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

[1_21Guns]

Thank you :hug3: