Uh oh...

[Kaya]

Ok, so to put things short, I eraser-burned my legs. One on the left leg, and two (one very small, one very large) on my right leg. Well...my mom saw the bandaid I put on it and she said "what happened here," and she went to touch my leg...but I put my hand on top of it...she called my grandma over and they had to pry my hand off of my leg. Then my mom held my hands down while my grandma pulled off the bandaid. Mom said she was very angry with me...but I convinced grandma I fell, and mom believed her (of course) after she explained it to her. I feel like such a liar, and I'm so ashamed of myself. I'm tired of relapsing and I don't know what to do. It's like...everything is crashing down, but I can't be myself around my family. No matter how bad things get I have to pretend to be happy around them. I did that last year and it didn't turn out good. I started becoming a zombie. I stayed in my room all day, either sleeping or on the internet. Just like last year, I'm barely eating anything..and my sleeping habits are off. I slept off and on until about three today. The only reason I'm up now is because I'm syncing my new iPod (yay) and didn't take my meds.

If you were in my position, how would you handle this?


I don't want things to go back to how they were before...

[Ambrosia]

Eraser burns are soo...GAH. Made me shiver when I read that! I've tried that before and the pain is like sticking my body parts in flames.
Well first off, be glad your mother even realized you had a band-aid on. Many parents don't even notice when their teenagers are hurt these days. And the fact that she even had a guess as to what it was, well, you should use that. I know what it's like to have to pretend. Pretending to be happy is one of the hardest things you will ever do, even when you become a pro at it. It eats away at you like some sort of a parasite and eventually it will break you. If you really don't like how things are going there's a very good thing you can do:

Tell your mom.

She already has the general idea. Just let her know. Now this can be very hard to do and very nerve racking but it might just do you some good.

[HeroesAndCons]

Calm down. and breathe.
what id do is use some coping mech
me and my friends website has good voping mechanisms that may work for you
Coping Skills site here (http://teenpsych.org/copingskills.html)
good luck

[Fiction]

I suggest you talk to your mum about it. If she's figured out it's self harm then try and talk to her about it. Ask her if you can go and see a councellor. That way you have someone you don't have to pretend to be happy for, and someone you can talk too.