Idiot...

[Syvelocin]

You had 200 calories of ramen and whatever amount of calories was in that asparagus (probably not that much) for dinner and what the fuck are you going to eat to make this all right? Why do you eat nothing the day before you weigh in? You could be almost on a binge during the week, but Saturday night, seems like you "forget" to eat. I know you try. But every week on Saturday? It gets progressively worse. Sunday you eat the most in the week, then you eat less and less until it turns out that today, you had barely anything and your excuse was "we ran out of organic kind of sauce, and I can't eat it without the sauce..."

Sorry, that was probably confusing. I meant that toward myself.

I have no clue what the number on the scale is going to be. I don't like it that I don't know. I can usually tell if I will have gained or lost. But I don't know this time.

[Fiction]

Rith, recovering from an ED is hard. I know that and you know that. The fact that you're managing to eat more the rest of the week is good, really good. You've come so far, and these are just the final steps you're making now.

I guess my point is they may be final steps, but they still need to be done. You've come so far but you're not quite there yet. Your eating habits aren't going to be perfect yet but that's ok. You've shown improvement. You've shown that you can get this far. It may be frustrating that you do it the day before your weigh in, but it's just a part of the recovery process.

I'm sorry i'm not sure that post made any sense. Always here if you want to talk :)

[Syvelocin]

I'm down. I knew it. I know I'm not eating enough. It's just my automatic reaction to the four pounds I've put on. I've been able to keep on the first ten from when I was at my lowest point. But whenever I try now, my body just doesn't want to get to or exceed 100 pounds. Every little bit that puts me closer that milestone, I have to loose again.

[Spook]

Try not to think about how much weight you have or have not gained. Distract yourself by doing something fun, anything that will help you forget. In fact, you shouldn't even weigh yourself. If you don't know, it is better. You'll get through this. With love, Caitlin

[Syvelocin]

Try not to think about how much weight you have or have not gained. Distract yourself by doing something fun, anything that will help you forget. In fact, you shouldn't even weigh yourself. If you don't know, it is better. You'll get through this. With love, Caitlin

I kind of can't help weighing. I have to, for medical reasons because I'm pretty internally screwed up from some of the lowest points of my ED, I'm being urged by my doctor to get at least to 100 pounds. My health is being put in front of my recovery really, since I have other issues unrelated to my weight that isn't really helped by my eating habits... It's getting to the point where I might just be back on an IV until I'm at a better point.