adopted and wanting to find my birth mother!

[INACTIVE_USER]

Well, I am adopted and was adopted when I was 3 months. My parents did not want to tell me but I figured out and pressurised them to admit it. I am thinking that I would like to find my real mother.
I have some details of her but not enough to find her. I need to ask my parents. But do you think it would make them sad if I do? I just want to ask her some questions about why things happened

[Syvelocin]

I think they might take it to heart, but if I were a parent in that position, honestly, it's expected that a kid would have some curiosity about their real parents. If you are curious, go for it. Sometimes, though, I find that it can be a disappointment when the real reason for giving you up isn't to your liking, or they weren't the people you thought they would be. But if you want to know, ask and track her down.

[smitty35]

Well, when did you find out? Was it recently? Well I think that you have the right to know about our real parents. And you have the right to meet them. Your parents should do the proper thing and let you know. They probably knew that this day was gonna come so, the must be willing to tell you all about it. good luck :-)

[paul955]

This post made me tear up.

[Fushigi]

it will be hard for them but im sure if u really want to know something about ur mother or what ever they will probably help u about that... sooner or later they will accept that u need to see ur real mom and meet her at least.. :)

[INACTIVE_USER]

Well, when did you find out? Was it recently? Well I think that you have the right to know about our real parents. And you have the right to meet them. Your parents should do the proper thing and let you know. They probably knew that this day was gonna come so, the must be willing to tell you all about it. good luck :-)

no, I was told when I was 9 so about 5 years ago now. It is only recently that I've wanted to know more

This post made me tear up.

Awwhhhh - no need to be sad!

______________________________________________

I know that my mother, well let us speak, she was not the most liked person in society. She had me very young and I think that is why I was adopted but I would still like to meet her, even to see if she is alive or even one picture of her or my father. My parents would not be too keen as she is not the best person.

[paul955]

Awwhhhh - no need to be sad!

______________________________________________

I know that my mother, well let us speak, she was not the most liked person in society. She had me very young and I think that is why I was adopted but I would still like to meet her, even to see if she is alive or even one picture of her or my father. My parents would not be too keen as she is not the best person.


Idk it just touches me, but how do you know she wasn't a good person?

[INACTIVE_USER]

Idk it just touches me, but how do you know she wasn't a good person?


I know from what my parents have told me!

[paul955]

Oh okay, I honestly wish you the best of luck in your search! And make sure you try google if you already haven't; google finds everything.

[music is my soul]

if you dont mind i might be able to assist in the search. post some info about your mom on my wall or something. best of luck.

[Jstr]

Woop woop good luck

[Apollo.]

Hey Emil, we have kinda already spoken about this but you could possibly try a site like this "http://www.isrr.net/".

[Nevermore]

Oh my gosh I'm going through the exact same thing! :D I was adopted when I was 12 months old or a year. :D My parents have been very open with, you were adopted, and your mom was a teenager when she had you. That's all I know. I want to know more, and I want to meet her and my father, however they refuse to give me their names because they think I'm too inmature! and it sucks! :( I think legally I'm supposed to know if I want. My adoption was closed, so I'm not even sure if calling the hospital records will help me. Especially since it was years ago. Good luck with your search!! I'm here if you ever want to talk. Your parnets won't be upset. It's a common question. Only reason to be upset is if they think your their one and only. Which they probably do.. but you have a right to know. Call the hospital ask for records, or if you were adopted through an agency. First find out if it was a closed or open adoption. Hopefully it was open, because you'll find them easier hopefully!! Good luck! <3

[Spook]

Wow...this is super ironic for me. First of all, my birthday is March 19th (the day you posted this), and my birthmother found adoptive parents when I was 3 days old (for you its 3 months). So...there are three kinds of adoptions- opened, closed, and one that is in the middle. An open adoption is when both families get to meet and interact, which, judging by your thread, is not the case here. A closed adoption is when the families have no contact, and the adoptive family refuses to be found by the child, much less have any records of him/her. In my case, and what seems like yours, it is in the middle. This means that the child will have to wait until he/she is 18 or older to contact the birthparents, and even then they have to get the birthparents permission to contact them. This permission will be obtained usually from the hospital or the adoption agency. You might want to talk to your parents about what kind of adoption you are in, and you can determine whether or not you can meet them now, or when you are 18. I plan to try to meet my birthmother when I am 18, its kind of good to know where you came from, right?

[INACTIVE_USER]

Wow...this is super ironic for me. First of all, my birthday is March 19th (the day you posted this), and my birthmother found adoptive parents when I was 3 days old (for you its 3 months). So...there are three kinds of adoptions- opened, closed, and one that is in the middle. An open adoption is when both families get to meet and interact, which, judging by your thread, is not the case here. A closed adoption is when the families have no contact, and the adoptive family refuses to be found by the child, much less have any records of him/her. In my case, and what seems like yours, it is in the middle. This means that the child will have to wait until he/she is 18 or older to contact the birthparents, and even then they have to get the birthparents permission to contact them. This permission will be obtained usually from the hospital or the adoption agency. You might want to talk to your parents about what kind of adoption you are in, and you can determine whether or not you can meet them now, or when you are 18. I plan to try to meet my birthmother when I am 18, its kind of good to know where you came from, right?

I must talk to my parents to find out how my adoption occured. You probably understand that I want to know how they are and who they are. I don't think I need to know them but maybe just to see them to see how they look.

[enzenzz]

I think your parents would be upset to know that you insist on knowing your birth mother especially since she gave you up so young so no bonds were formed. They might feel that they have failed to raise you well enough that you would need something more.

I agree that knowing might not be the best thing especially if the reason for giving you up will be trivial.

[INACTIVE_USER]

I think your parents would be upset to know that you insist on knowing your birth mother especially since she gave you up so young so no bonds were formed. They might feel that they have failed to raise you well enough that you would need something more.

I agree that knowing might not be the best thing especially if the reason for giving you up will be trivial.

I know she was very young when she had me so I am guesing that that had an effect on her reasoning. I just thin that it is natural to want to know

[blaine97]

I think you should ask them because they could be able to find out your real parents location and you could be able to meet them.

[Ambrosia]

When my mother was sixteen she gave birth to a little girl. She gave her up without ever meeting her or even holding her. When the girl was in her late twenties to early thirties she reached out to find my mother. My sister and this girl are now good friends and she speaks to my mother sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with reaching out to find your birth parents. It might even be good for you because she might not have even wanted to give you up (My mother didn't want to give her up, it wasn't her choice at all and she still regrets it!). You're parents knew that one day this would happen when they adopted you, it's inevidable and unavoidable. You do what you think you should do and if that involves finding here then go for it. But don't get your hopes up because she might not be what you expected at all and maybe won't even want to speak to you (Some women find it very difficult to speak to/meet the child they gave up and can't bring themselves to do so).

Good luck!

[Spook]

I think your parents would be upset to know that you insist on knowing your birth mother especially since she gave you up so young so no bonds were formed. They might feel that they have failed to raise you well enough that you would need something more.

I agree that knowing might not be the best thing especially if the reason for giving you up will be trivial.

I disagree. Like emil said, it's natural to want to know. My parents were understanding. :D

[seamo34]

Well, I am adopted and was adopted when I was 3 months. My parents did not want to tell me but I figured out and pressurised them to admit it. I am thinking that I would like to find my real mother.
I have some details of her but not enough to find her. I need to ask my parents. But do you think it would make them sad if I do? I just want to ask her some questions about why things happened

hi man
i feel the same way i was adopted at the age of 3 monthes or around that im not quite sure what i want to do yet but would be happy to talk to u :P

[Emerald Dream]

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