Councelling

[Fiction]

Okay so I have councelling again tomorrow. It's my third appointment not including my intial one in hospital.

My councellor is giving me the choice on whether to carry on with my councelling or not. In a way I want to get better. I don't want to give up on getting better and this seems to be the only possible way.

On the other hand I can't really see it helping. It seems a waste of time, and I don't want to be the "special" kid in councelling anymore.

I suppose my question really is, has anyone ever actually been helped by councelling or is it all a waste of time?

Thanks.

[Kaya]

It's helped me in a way...but has wasted my time...but, at the same time it's a choice that should make with your brain and not your heart. You shouldn't leave until you know for a fact that you're completely ready.

[Syvelocin]

Honestly, I've learned much more from a combination of VT, coping by myself, and the guidance of some people who are close to me. However, should you leave counselling? I say no. If you don't think it helps, try someone different, until you find someone you enjoy talking with. And at that point, you'll have a resource that's very valuable: an unbiased third-party who is specialized in this field. Depending on what advice you want to seek though. Counselling is great for just a little extra help on the side. I however find the most help from a psychologist, mine in particular is specialized in all sorts of forms of therapy like DBT and CBT, nutrition, and family counselling. She's also the only professional who has worked for me. Finding a professional who is for you is just as hard as everything else you need to do when you have psychological issues, like medication as well. You have to keep trying to find what works for you, and be able to work toward goals. I've tried eight different professionals until I finally met my current one.

I just think that someone like that is a resource that is well worth it. But finding the right fit is a struggle.

You're not the "special kid with counselling." You might feel like that, but how many teens actually go to professionals like that is a number you'd be surprised by.

It has wasted my time. It was a waste of time on the professionals that wouldn't help me in a way I'd benefit from. But when I found someone I could bear, who shared similar thoughts, beliefs, and personality traits, and really knew where I was coming from, it doesn't seem like a waste at all.

[Nevermore]

Counseling can be helpful. I'd say continue with it. Yes, they aren't perfect, they don't seem to help much, but you get to talk about things which helps in a way. It's like having someone who won't tell your secrets. If you have relationship problems or friendship drama they are good for that. Sometimes good for anxiety stuff as well. VT is great, it has truley helped me in so many ways, people dealing with the same problems as me, it really helps. Counslers can help you get to the root of the problem, the why, and help from there. Perhaps you already know the root, perhaps you don't. The decision is up to you. Personally I'd say stick with it. It takes a little edge off when you can vent to someone face to face about anything and or everything.

[georgiamay]

My school councellor wasted my time. I didn't find her helpful at all. If anything, she actually made me worse, because being pulled out of the same lesson every week and having people ask "where do you go every tuesday period three?" Get's very frustrating. I've never had any experience with councelling outside of school, so I honestly don't know what that's like.

But so far, therapy is working for me. I had a massive dip last week, I'm not going to lie. But when I mentioned that to my therapist, she said that was normal, and she expected it to happen anyway. Think about it, You manage to uncover the reasons that you self harm, the reaons that you sometimes feel suicidal, and the reasons that you feel the way you do, and for the rest of the week, they're staring you in the face. But then you start to work on those reasons, and you get better.

And if it works for you, then great. If it doesn't, try someone else. Maybe try and see a psychologist or therapist instead of a councellor if the councelling doesn't work, but giving up means you'll never get better. If the guy you're seeing doesn't help you, ask to see someone else. He won't care, it's probably happened to him too many times for him to count, it happens to all councellors and therapists.

Please keep going with it Kathy, and if it doesn't work, try something else.

[Fiction]

I told my councellor today it wasn't helping and I wanted to stop. He said he'd see me in 4 weeks time to see how I was getting on. Not sure how it's going to go from there.

[Love.Hate]

I think you need to give it some time,
I know what you mean, i have recently just given up on mine. It was a waste of time.
But I think you still need to talk to someone? Its better than bottling it all up.. Apparently?
But see how you feel in 4 weeks, make your descision then. I wish you the best of luck :)

[Fiction]

Thanks Fran :)

[Kaius]

Only one of my god knows how many counsellors helped. But tbh I think that was only because I wasn't willing to really talk to the others like I did with that one guy. I suppose its cause I felt a bit more comfortable with that one than I did the others. Idk, It took me a good few months to even attempt to open up to even that guy, so don't expect it to just magically happen cause tbh.. It really don't.

I know you want to give up counselling but in a way I really don't think its a good idea. Ask to change to a different person maybe but don't quit it completely. I've found that if you walk out and say you don't want anymore then its harder to get that help in the future. Whereas if they discharge you themselves you've always got that door open to go back in the future when or if you need it. My last counselor at CAMHS was terrible, she didn't help in the slightest but when talking about it to my cognitive counselor he said its better for her to discharge me herself than for me to discharge myself because im shutting the door on myself really.

I'm slowly warming to the one I have at the moment but whether he helps me or not is a different story. Not everyone though is going to feel comfortable with the same person as someone else may feel comfortable with, it just depends on you. You should really take a look at some other counselors they've got there and take it from there. You know im here if you need to talk at all Kath, idk i know Im not much help sometimes but eh.

[Fiction]

Thanks Aaron. I am still technically seeing my councellor. I told him it wasn't helping and he still insisted on seeing me in 4 weeks. I don't know, last councelling session we had nothing to talk about. We ended it early. I don't see the point in that. I know you say it takes time to help and stuff, but at the start I was hopeful now I just don't see how it will :/

I'll see what happens in 4 weeks and then go from there.

Thanks Aaron and you do help, so much more than you think xx

[Kaius]

Maybe thats a sign you should ask to change to someone else, and see if they can help anymore than he can. But i guess you've got to let them in a way, I know how stubborn you are at times with that but if they don't know they can't help

[Fiction]

I do try and be honest with them, but I guess I can put up too much of a front as I said. I know I did with him. I didn't mean to I just don't get emotional in front of other people :/

I will talk to my mum about getting another councellor.

[Triceratops]

Having a councellor isn't necessarily a waste of time, but I've had more councellors than school dinners and not many of them actually helped. There's only so much councelling can do.

At the end of the day, the only person that can save you is yourself, but you need some good level of support since you're not going to be able to do this on your own.