what should I do about my parents finding out?

[guyfromnowhere]

well there's this guy and well he's married newly to this beautiful girl that is pretty much the love of his life as he always talks about her. He treats me well like a friend of a relative. But we're kind of close. Well one day we had oral sex he was drunk I really feel like I kind of took advantage. But it was stupid I just guess it was my rash rush of emotions. Well after this he stops talking to me. And he wants nothing to do with me. We texted and I tried to apologize. But well he wouldn't accept it. Anyway my brother saw my text messages. Now he's threatening me that he'll tell my parents what I did. My parents don't even know I'm gay yet. I don't really know how I'm going to deal with this if they do find out I just need advice plz?

[chargersfan]

i would probably just say that that ur brother was full of shit even though he wasnt and delete all evidence of it.

[Kdude146]

be honest with yourself and yourparents cuz if you come out I think things will be fine if you do

[short boy big]

this is a hard one, you could delete all evidenc and say it was a load of crap but u would feel extremely guilty, i recommend telling the truth to ur parents b4 ur brother does. They r ur parents who will stand by and love u always, as for wut u did they will forgive you, ur mistakes make u stronger.

[StrongSilent]

Everyone here is telling you that if you tell your parents, burdens will be lifted from your shoulders and you will be able to move on.

Lies.

If you tell your parents, it may take them many months to forgive. If they are good parents then of course they will still love you, but that doesn't mean they have to just forget it and move on. There will likely be extremely harsh punishments, and some things will never be the same again.

But then again, that's what this sex leads to eventually anyway.

I guarantee you that your friendship with this guy is over. It is impossible to turn back the pages now.

Right now your problems are stuck in a levy complex. There is no way to stop the raging waters. Each problem like this you run into that you try to cover up or deny will only increase the force behind the water. One of a couple things is going to happen. Either you are never going to admit anything, in which case the water will become so fierce that it eventually breaks apart the levy and hits you head-on, or you allow it to escape now, in which case it will still hit you head-on, but to a lesser degree.

Like it or not, you've committed actions and you can't weasel out of punishment for them forever.

[smitty35]

I would try one more time to apologize to the dude. And I would tell your brother to stfu!

[danmanlott]

aaaaa

[Fact]

Puberty :arrow2: Sexuality

[StrongSilent]

I would try one more time to apologize to the dude. And I would tell your brother to stfu!

Apologizing to the dude won't work, that's over and done with. There is also no solution to the brother, because as stated above, you can see it online. This guy is sunk. May sound cruel, but he got himself into it, there isn't much that can be done now.

[Dalman]

Assuming he is over 18, this could become a legal issue. I would deny it, certainly the married guy will deny it. This is one reason that I am glad not to have a brother.

[ConfusedDude]

I don't think they will mind if your gay...only if you had oral.....and you will make it through....it isn't the end of the world

[guyfromnowhere]

he's 22 and I think I could wiggle at that they already talked to me about my gf like that if we were having sex it was fine with them as long as I protect myself.

[guyfromnowhere]

I don't know how my dad would react to me being gay or bi.

[Spook]

Were you drunk? It seems really...wrong that you would knowingly do "things" with a guy that you knew was married. What if his wife found out? I think that she would be very upset. I don't think that this minor thing makes you gay or bi, however. I think you were just experimenting, but did not think about the consequences before you acted. You probably should tell your parents, it's best, based on the relationship you have with them. Anyways, you also have a problem with STD's. Make sure you stay safe and think before you act. Take care, Caitlin

[guyfromnowhere]

yea I am.

and I know I am either gay or bisexual. I don't want others to know as I have a gf and I know people think I'm gay but I couldn't even deny it with this.

[Bmilli]

i would probably just say that that ur brother was full of shit even though he wasnt and delete all evidence of it.

i agree to that lol and come out in your own time.

[guyfromnowhere]

btw no I wasn't drunk just I guess I didn't think about the potentiaal trouble it would cause for everyone.

[Sosaku]

I'm going to sound horribly mean and cruel, (probably...) please DON'T hate me ok?

First, if you knew he was drunk, you should have been responsible enough to make sure he did nothing he would regret, then make sure you did nothing you'd regret. YOU were responsible for being friends with him.

Then, You were irresponsible enough to let your brother see your texts. If you are talking about something you want no one to know, you delete the messages. Yea you can see them online, but if he didn't know in the first place, he probably wouldn't check online.

Also, you are scared your parents may find out? Ok, they said you can have sex with your girlfriend as long as you stay protected, correct? They did not say anything about oral sex with your older friend. IF your parents find out...and you aren't 18, your friend or used to be friend could go to jail for sex with a minor, or get a fine and be known as a sex offender....You could ruin his life.

The best thing for you to do is tell your family ASAP what happened. Don't tell them you are gay. Say you were experimenting, and that you took advantage of him. tell them most of the truth, but keep away from your sexuality. They my ask you, and if they do, it is your choice to tell them the truth or not.

I'm sorry to be so mean, but you caused it because you only think of yourself.

[Sosaku]

AND another thing!!! If you were sober, which you said you were, that is rape!!! so you could go to jail also!!! and be considered a sex offender!!!

[guyfromnowhere]

he wasn't passed out. I actually thought he may have wanted it. Like many straight guys love their gfs but might look at me sexually because I had a rounded face and long pplus I'm really young so I appear to be female and so some guys do have sexual feelings for me I suspect but they just don't express it unless they are drunk. I think my parents would have to try to arrest a lot of other guys if they were upset with me having sex with other people than my gf.
also I don't let my brother see my texts. He looked at it without permission.
I know I shouldn't have done it seeing that we both have girls we're committed to.

[Sosaku]

Whether he was passed out or not, if he was Drunk, he was not thinking correctly. And YOU are responsible for him if you are there with him. It IS rape because he was drunk and therefore, his thinking was impaired. And at your age, everyone looks at everyone else sexually, they are just horny water bags, wanting to release some "stress" Yes, i thin kthey WILL get upset, maybe not get him arrested, but they'd probably deal with YOU for doing it. Have those other guys done anything with you? were they OVER the age of 18? That's the point, you did something when you are most likely(i'm not sure) not at or above the age of consent, and you did it with someone not your age, but at most 10 years older than you. You could have been hurt, you don't know what would have happened.

Still tell you parents before your brother, because if you admit to it, most likely they'll be only a bit more than dissapointed. If your brother says it they'll probably get really upset because you wouldn't tell them. Be careful, and if you are going to experiment, make sure the other person is SOBER, and agrees.

[guyfromnowhere]

I'm 14 we're not 10 year apart at all seeing that he just had his b-day. And thanks for your input

[Sosaku]

i said at most.....

[guyfromnowhere]

btw guys of different ages look at me that way sometimes I talk or socially interact and their interest lessens because of how I look. That's not just my age group it's human nature. I'm tired gn

[Unsolvedmind]

I am interested in boys and girls. I am 14 years old and I am really interested in this girl at school and I am also interested in some guys there to. So how do I tell my parents I might be bisexual and I am little bit nervous to tell them that.

[vernon]

i think u should tell ur parents what happened an pray they will understand