This is the lowest I've been.

[UnknownError]

Self harmed in four classes today. Usually I try my best to wait til I get home but today was just, I don't even know. I'm not good with words.
All I can think about it fucking suicide. I know it won't do anything and I won't do it. I'm so fucking weak. If I got the chance I'd turn it down no matter how much I wanted to.
Urgh. Cut last night. Broke the skin for the first time in a while.
I laughed myself to sleep. I'm a fucking weirdo.

People are noticing. My parents keep asking if I'm okay and so do my friends. I've gotten more pale than usually and I hardly speak any more.
Usually I'm the one that doesn't STFU but every time I speak my voice is just shaking so much. :/
FML.

/rant.

[Love.Hate]

Its okay Connor.
You cant be mr.STFU (:L) all the time.
I know everyone is going to tell you this, and you already know whats coming. But suicide isnt the answer! Its just running away from everything. You may feel like your too weak, but if these thoughts continue it will get worse, you might even end up trying. You are not as weak as you feel. I think you need to get rid of these thoughts or it will keep playing on your mind. There is no cure to make yourself feel better, you just need to approach things that get you down differently. For example dont try not to cut, forget about it, try to keep busy and if you think about it, go and do something that you wouldnt normally do.. tv, writing, homework :P ? Why dont you tell your parents and friends that your feeling a little down.. extra hugs is never a bad thing :)
You can and will beat this one day, you just have to believe in yourself :heart:

[UnknownError]

Thanks.
I know it's not the answer but it's all that's in my mind.
Yeh I'm trying to keep myself distracted. Not really working, but yeah.
Thanks for replying. :)

[Fiction]

Connor, you know that suicide isn't the answer and not being able to do it doesn't show weakness, it shows strength. Suicide is giving up. Suicide is the final "fuck it all" if you see what I mean. It's showing that you don't have the strength to go on. Staying alive is the harder option. The option where you have to fight. I know that you can do this Connor. You got so far a while back with giving up cutting. You can do that again, and get further.

You know where I am if you ever need me. :)

[UnknownError]

Thanks Kathy.
Yeh I know. :/ But it's just all I can think about atm.
Wasn't to bad today really. I cut in the morning so I wouldn't feel the need to at school.
Not the best plan in the world but I suppose it's better than under the table in French. :P
But yeh, thanks for replying.

[blah_x]

I understand you man :)
Its hard to talk, and its even harder to listen to yourself sometimes.. but just stay strong. Someday, it will get better.
x

[Fiction]

Thanks Kathy.
Yeh I know. :/ But it's just all I can think about atm.
Wasn't to bad today really. I cut in the morning so I wouldn't feel the need to at school.
Not the best plan in the world but I suppose it's better than under the table in French. :P
But yeh, thanks for replying.

No problem. You know what happened to me, and honestly it's not worth it. If you survive, life doesn't get better, it gets worse. If you really feel like you want to do it it's so much better to get help than to try it.

[Love.Hate]

No problem. You know what happened to me, and honestly it's not worth it. If you survive, life doesn't get better, it gets worse. If you really feel like you want to do it it's so much better to get help than to try it.

I really couldn't agree with this more.
Connor your strong, remember that <3

[bvboy]

Just echoing what everyone said really. Your such a smart kid Connor, just keep fighting the urges, you'll get through it. Remember the night gets darker just before dawn. then the sun rises.
You'll b fine, everyone here is behind you. Keep calm.

[HeroesAndCons]

Connor, Your not low. your just scared. if you dont feel like talking to ppl you know IRL you know im always here for you You got my facebook so u can message me on here or on there, You may have slipped but i know you can go back and fight the urges and u can do it your so strong. Your not a weirdo.

:heart::hug::heart:

[UnknownError]

Thanks everyone... you're all to nice. :L
I'm trying. Going to try hard Monday and see how long I go without SH. 4 hours maybe? :/