love is louder
March 12th, 2011, 05:13 PM
You lay there trying to sleep,
Forcing your eyes tight shut,
But its no use.
My thoughts running through your head,
Every night.
You cant sleep you know what you have to do,
To be able to sleep.
The inner demons take you over,
Force you to feel this way.
So you change positions
Put you head at the foot of the bed sometimes,
With your legs up the wall sometimes.
I can see you.
I can feel you.
It's no use.
You start to pace the room
Up and down
Round and round.
I'm waiting.
Till finally you head for the bathroom
Select the cleanest razor,
But I don't care.
Balance it against the windowsill,
Snapping it between you thumb and index finger.
Breaking of the remaining plastic.
You inhale.
Taking off you trousers and sliding down next to the bath
Almost crying.
Begging for the urges to stop.
You pull at the skin on your thigh,
Now the adrenalin takes you over,
This was my plan.
Your vision begins to fuzz around the edges,
Then the blade penetrates your skin and you escape from my body.
I can see you.
Rising.
With every strike you forget what its like to be you
And now you know what its like to be me.
Just for a second,
You forget what its like to be face down in the dirt.
Welcome to my world.
All those people who pain your life are fools
Because I have control.
Every cut, burn, scratch, bruise you inflict on your body.
But I have the upper hand,
Your doing the damage not them.
You think it's you controlling the hurt not them
And that's empowering, aspiring.
And in that moment,
At that time,
In that fraction of a second you feel alive!
The most alive you've ever felt,
It's a rush,
A release,
A moment of pure ecstasy
But its not yours to feel,
You aren’t in control I am!
Now the blood comes sliding down your thigh
It starts to drip onto the floor,
Every drop of blood was a reminder that you still belonged to the earth,
You are flesh and blood,
And now you know
What it’s like to be me
I renounce you.
The pounding in your head is gone
Your sight comes back you sink into your body once again.
I've let you go
And you can sleep.
a bit of a long one i know.
its my first draft of my first ever poem
well more of a vent actually.
Forcing your eyes tight shut,
But its no use.
My thoughts running through your head,
Every night.
You cant sleep you know what you have to do,
To be able to sleep.
The inner demons take you over,
Force you to feel this way.
So you change positions
Put you head at the foot of the bed sometimes,
With your legs up the wall sometimes.
I can see you.
I can feel you.
It's no use.
You start to pace the room
Up and down
Round and round.
I'm waiting.
Till finally you head for the bathroom
Select the cleanest razor,
But I don't care.
Balance it against the windowsill,
Snapping it between you thumb and index finger.
Breaking of the remaining plastic.
You inhale.
Taking off you trousers and sliding down next to the bath
Almost crying.
Begging for the urges to stop.
You pull at the skin on your thigh,
Now the adrenalin takes you over,
This was my plan.
Your vision begins to fuzz around the edges,
Then the blade penetrates your skin and you escape from my body.
I can see you.
Rising.
With every strike you forget what its like to be you
And now you know what its like to be me.
Just for a second,
You forget what its like to be face down in the dirt.
Welcome to my world.
All those people who pain your life are fools
Because I have control.
Every cut, burn, scratch, bruise you inflict on your body.
But I have the upper hand,
Your doing the damage not them.
You think it's you controlling the hurt not them
And that's empowering, aspiring.
And in that moment,
At that time,
In that fraction of a second you feel alive!
The most alive you've ever felt,
It's a rush,
A release,
A moment of pure ecstasy
But its not yours to feel,
You aren’t in control I am!
Now the blood comes sliding down your thigh
It starts to drip onto the floor,
Every drop of blood was a reminder that you still belonged to the earth,
You are flesh and blood,
And now you know
What it’s like to be me
I renounce you.
The pounding in your head is gone
Your sight comes back you sink into your body once again.
I've let you go
And you can sleep.
a bit of a long one i know.
its my first draft of my first ever poem
well more of a vent actually.