georgiamay
March 12th, 2011, 12:28 PM
On friday, I cut at the end of lunch. It wasn't particularly bad, but it was still bleeding when I went into my RE lesson. About half way through, I asked if I could go to the toilet, and at first my teacher said no. Then she asked me to go outside with her, and she asked if I genuinly needed the toilet, and if I was ok. I told her I really needed to go, and that I was fine.
I went because I needed to sort out the cuts, because even though they weren't deep, I knew they were still bleeding. My sleeve was covered in blood, and I knew I'd need to get rid of it when I got home.
I went back to lesson and carried on as normal, and the teacher asked me to stay behind at the end. She asked me if everything was alright. She said it was obvious that something was wrong, and that it was obviously getting worse. Then I freaked out in my head a bit because all I could think was "how the fuck can she tell?"
I knew I was in for it. She looked at me as if to say that I wasn't going anywhere until I told her what was going on. I said I did something stupid at lunch and that I needed to go and sort it out. She asked what I did, and I didn't answer. She asked me if I wanted to show her instead, and I said no. That was it, she knew.
She was nice about it, but she's the type of person where you can't actually tell if they give a shit or not. I'm glad it was her that found out and not some bitchy PE teacher. -_-
At first I was sort of... numb. I didn't have a single emotion at all. Now I'm freaking out. She said she had to tell the school counsellor about it (who knows fuck all), and that my parents might not need to be told, because I told her that they don't need to know cause I'm in therapy anyway.
So, I'm freaking out now. I'm not sure why. I should have just stood my ground and insisted that everything was fine. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. Now she's going to be giving me the weirdest looks, and the lessons are going to be really awkward. I'm just generally freaking out about the fact that she knows.
That was a major rant. I just hate awkwardness, and I know there's going to be a lot of it over the next few weeks.
I went because I needed to sort out the cuts, because even though they weren't deep, I knew they were still bleeding. My sleeve was covered in blood, and I knew I'd need to get rid of it when I got home.
I went back to lesson and carried on as normal, and the teacher asked me to stay behind at the end. She asked me if everything was alright. She said it was obvious that something was wrong, and that it was obviously getting worse. Then I freaked out in my head a bit because all I could think was "how the fuck can she tell?"
I knew I was in for it. She looked at me as if to say that I wasn't going anywhere until I told her what was going on. I said I did something stupid at lunch and that I needed to go and sort it out. She asked what I did, and I didn't answer. She asked me if I wanted to show her instead, and I said no. That was it, she knew.
She was nice about it, but she's the type of person where you can't actually tell if they give a shit or not. I'm glad it was her that found out and not some bitchy PE teacher. -_-
At first I was sort of... numb. I didn't have a single emotion at all. Now I'm freaking out. She said she had to tell the school counsellor about it (who knows fuck all), and that my parents might not need to be told, because I told her that they don't need to know cause I'm in therapy anyway.
So, I'm freaking out now. I'm not sure why. I should have just stood my ground and insisted that everything was fine. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. Now she's going to be giving me the weirdest looks, and the lessons are going to be really awkward. I'm just generally freaking out about the fact that she knows.
That was a major rant. I just hate awkwardness, and I know there's going to be a lot of it over the next few weeks.