John..

[Bath]

One of the reasons I haven't cut in two weeks is because this boy, John, who I love so much, told me he loves me and that it's stupid to cut.

Last night I found out he had cut himself. It really triggered me because I tried to help him by telling him the same things he told me, telling him the truth, how he is loved and to please stop. This was all over the phone.

He told me that he hated is life and when I said "please. I care for you. I'm always here." He said..

"You're like the fourth fucking person to tell me that. Fuck off."

I had to pull out so much hair trying not to cut. I was home alone, it was nighttime, razor blade underneath the sink.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know how long I can last, he kept me going this long. :/

[Quahog]

You have to be each others support system. He is going through the same problem you are. You guys should be able to talk about this, and help one another, while you are dealing with this. Just because he started to cut, it doesn't mean he can't still be an inspiration for you. If you love him, you should be able to talk to him. You can use each other as a distraction. I don't want you to pull your hair, or to pick up a blade. You can talk to this boy, and you can always come here for help. He can still be a motivation for you. You can help him, and hopefully he can help you. I want you to post in the Non Self harm calender here too. That can also help you. Try safe distractions. Holding Ice Cubes, flicking rubber wrist bands, drawing. I don't want you to hurt yourself, and I don't want you to feel devastated, because your motivation has the same problems you have, because you shouldn't. This is the perfect opportunity for you guys to help each other, and hopefully with your relationship, you guys can go through with this.

You can always come here and talk to us if you ever have problems. :)