Stupid rant more than anything

[Malcolm Tucker]

I was washing the dishes, and I got to a pot. So, naturally I started scrubbing it. But whilst I was doing this, the entire time I was thinking about people in my life - mainly from school - who just....fuel my SH and my depression, and the more I thought about it, the harder I scrubbed, and the harder I scrubbed, the less pain I felt inside.

So I got thinking, and my mind took over again. I can take my blade, and turn it on myself, and imagine doing it to those people, and it's a double good - right? Right?

So here I sit, blade in close reach, and I'm wondering to myself does it justify cutting? Either way, I don't see myself going without it tonight but that's just me, and my fucked up mind.

[Donkey]

:hug: It's not worth it Michael.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Why is it not? If this is the only way I can feel better right now, how is it not worth it?

I'm not going to do it deep - It's a pencil sharpener blade. I don't have it in me to do it too deep to harm me badly.

I dunno :/

[FullyAlive]

Don't do it because of them, it makes them worth something, which they're not!
:hug:

[Donkey]

Why is it not? If this is the only way I can feel better right now, how is it not worth it?

I'm not going to do it deep - It's a pencil sharpener blade. I don't have it in me to do it too deep to harm me badly.

I dunno :/
If you stop self harming, in the long run you will feel better as a person. If you keep on doing it, you're not only hurting yourself but you're messing up your body among other things for a quick short term fix. Be strong and resist the urge.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Its never worth it. Stay strong, distract yourself until you fall asleep. Fall asleep reading or watching a film.

But try and resist the urges. Please.

[Malcolm Tucker]

So now, I'm looking at Facebook, and they're talking about me, and outing me using their imposed nickname for me.....UGH :cry2:

Not fair. All I can think about now is cutting >< :cry2:

[MyRedHeadWorld]

Oh god, you and me are on the same page ¬¬ Exept, I've done it. I have alot of scares on my arm from lashing out, all because of people backstabbing me, and acting like total bitches, I use to just draw when i got stressed, it always worked, Hell, Im great at drawing now :) till one day I didnt know what to draw, and I sat alone and cried. Then The anger took over me and I Cut, and cut, Screamed and swore, i went mental!!
Thing is, after I did it, My stress was gone...Luckily theres only scares and I didnt bleed really, My point is...
As hard as life gets, cutting isnt the sulution, I may sound like a hypocrite but I reilised it didnt help because It hurt me, and the stress wasnt gone forever, What did help was standing up for myself and telling the people what I really thought and how sick of there crap i was!!
I dunno if any of that crap I said helped, but ope it did and hope you dont hurt yourself, It really anit nice at the end of everything...