georgiamay
February 27th, 2011, 10:02 AM
I gave in and purged. I didn't exactly binge... It was just a big lunch. At about 1:30 I got hungry, I hadn't eaten since about 4 yesterday. About half way through, I knew I wouldn't keep it down. I started to drink loads of water with it (which I used to do a lot while I was binging), and I went off to the bathroom. Half went into the toilet, half in the shower.
I'm freaking out a little bit now. I was so calm afterwards, but now all I can think about it whether or not my parents will notice. I highly doubt it. I mean, the pipes aren't thin enough for me to have blocked them, right? I don't know. I've never purged into the shower before.
I really want to know how much I weigh. It's driving me insane.
I'll probably end up cleaning the bathroom in a few minutes. I know I didn't get any vomit on the walls, but I don't give a shit, I'm not taking any risks.
Half of me just wants to stop, to never go back and to eat healthily from now on. The other half of me wants to keep going, because I'll lose weight at the end of it. I don't know, I really don't want this, but I don't think I can stop.
sorry, /rant.
I'm freaking out a little bit now. I was so calm afterwards, but now all I can think about it whether or not my parents will notice. I highly doubt it. I mean, the pipes aren't thin enough for me to have blocked them, right? I don't know. I've never purged into the shower before.
I really want to know how much I weigh. It's driving me insane.
I'll probably end up cleaning the bathroom in a few minutes. I know I didn't get any vomit on the walls, but I don't give a shit, I'm not taking any risks.
Half of me just wants to stop, to never go back and to eat healthily from now on. The other half of me wants to keep going, because I'll lose weight at the end of it. I don't know, I really don't want this, but I don't think I can stop.
sorry, /rant.