Pleeease help me out?

[icanbarelybreathe]

Okay, so in November, I made a promise to my best friend to stop cutting. We pinky promised, and that's some serious shit right there. And I stopped. It wasn't easy at all, I still thought about it everyday. But it was a lot easier, because it was for him. I promised I would stop, and he said if I ever did it again, he would never speak to me again. That's a little harsh, but we're best friends, and I'm in love with him.

In January, we started screwing around, and we ended up sleeping together. I don't have the best track record with guys. All of them except this guy have abused me. So actually trusting someone enough to have sex with them means a lot.

The day after Valentine's Day, we slept together. He told me he loved me. He'd said it before, but this time it was like, look you in the eyes and change your life "I love you."

That night he asked another girl out. He stopped talking to me, and he was pissed at me for something, but two days later, I cut. He found out, and now he completely ignores me.

He texted me the other night, saying he still loved me, and just wanted to hold me and make it better. But that he didn't know how to trust me anymore. Now all I want to do is cut. There's no way he would ever know. But I still don't know if I should. There is literally nothing that could make me feel better right now.

Help?

[georgiamay]

Cutting won't make anything better. For a few seconds, you might feel better. But is it really worth it? No i don't think it is.

He shouldn't put you under that much pressure to stop. If he asked another girl out, that's not your fault. Tell him how you feel about it. And he doesn't know how he can trust you anymore? He's the one that asked another girl out.

Maybe explain to him that self harm isn't something that you can just stop like that, say that it takes time, and that you might slip up from time to time, and that it's like an addiction. Ignoring you because of it will just make you feel worse, and it will make stopping even harder for you. Say that what you really need is some support to help you through this.

[icanbarelybreathe]

Thanks so much. (: I just feel like it's my fault, you know?

[georgiamay]

I know, that's normal. But it really isn't your fault. You don't have any control over what he decides to do, so how can it be your fault? Honestly, it's normal to feel that way, but that doesn't mean it's true. Because it isn't, it really isn't your fault.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, just PM me. :hug3:

[icanbarelybreathe]

Seriously, thanks. That helps a lot. (: