Loss of a parent

[Hockeyplayer1]

So just some thoughts I guess, been thinkin alot about this lately.

I live with my dad, I have 1 older bro and 2 older sisters. No big deal.

So most people dont know that my mom died of cancer when I was 18 months old. She had major back pain and they told her it was muscle spasm and stuff but by the time they finally did tests and found out what it was it was way to late. She passed away at home a month after being diagnosed.

So my dad remarried like 5 months later basicly because he isnt much of a parent and doesnt do well on his own. She was never a mom to me or my bro and she abused me physicly and mentally. My sisters both moved out because of her. So she moved out after a few years and its just my dad and I. Dont get me wrong I absolutley dont want any sympathy.

I guess the point of this post is that does it seem odd that I dont miss my mom?

I mean really I didnt know her I was 18 months old ya know. I also feel that you cant miss something you never had in the first place?

If that makes any sense.

At school I dont tell anyone cause they are always like oh my god Im so sorry and on and on and they treat me differently. This is my normal.

I guess life is all relative, your approach to everything is based on your past.

[suza23]

I get what your saying. It would make sense that you would feel bad that you didn't get to know her , but on the other hand how can you miss/love someone you never met

[Quahog]

Well, you never got a chance to meet your mother, as she died when you were very yong, not even 2 years old. So I guess that explains why you aren't really affected by her death. But I know deep down inside, you feel some sort of sadness that you never got to know your mother. This is unique, because usually, the more you get attached to a person, the harder it is to accept their death, and the harder it is not to get worked up over it, but even though you say you aren't sad, you are probably showing it in different ways. You are upset that you never got the chance to meet your mother, and so deep down you are depressed about it. You don't have to cry, or get mad to show that you are upset about something. I guess this is the way you deal with these types of things.

[Starlight Blaze]

Actually that doesn't surprise me at all. I lost my dad almost three years ago, and even though I knew him, I don't miss him that much. He was a great dad and everything. I just , for whatever reason, do not miss him that much. I understand that you actually have a reason for you not missing your mom, so that makes it even less surprising. But most people would expect a little emotion. I'm just not most people.

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

The same thing happed to my mom but i was 4 it took me 8 years to feel any pain for her death

[xgeekyrocksx]

i see why you don't feel any different. If you were only 18 months old then you wouldn't have known her, you would have felt that she was your mum (it's instinct?) but sometimes you can't miss someone you never really knew. I'm glad that your Dad's nice though :)