I feel so alone.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

ugh i jusst came back from a family dinner [my brothers moving out of the country, its his last night]

and everytime the subject of drugs or alchohol came up they'd say something like "Tegans you not showing very much change" or when my step mom and sister were talking about my sisters boyfriends drugs problem, shes like "yea some people cant change unless they want to change, although your not doing anything to help yourself tegan"

i just got up and went to the washroom and cried.

ok so i'm not quitting weed yet,
but i quit everything eles.
even extacy which i'm so mentally addicted too.
and i quit drinking, on my own, none of my friends are and i decided to stay quitting even after courts over with [no one eles is doing that]
and it is SOOOOOO hard to quit, i want a drink SO bad right now, its the only thing that helps me forget completly, and no one is supporting me.
i mean some people i knwop are like "yea right you wont last long" and my family is totally not helping me [although they know nothing about my life, they have no clue about the other drugs or my addictions or how much i used to drink] so i cant tlak to them about it. it hurt my feeling sso much when she said that i wasnt changing, when i'm doing this ALL by myself, even with out my therapist becuase i started avioiding her for a month after something happened.
so i'm doing this all by myself and it is just TOO much,
i want a drink so bad.
and what am i even doing this for? the people i'm doing for dont even ask me how i'm doing, all they do is doubt.
i'm so stressed. :(

[Bobby]

Tegan, you shouldn't have to do this. But you need to ask your family for support since they won't give it.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

nothing ever changes even if i do,
i mean nothigns changed at all since they found out i used to cut a lot.
all they would do is ask how they can help, and i dont know what i want from them.

[Maverick]

You need to go to a hospital and get help. There's no way you can do it successfully on your own.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

if no one can change on there own then this world is doomed.
i dont need to go to a hospital

[Bankai15]

Do what you think is best. :)

[Bobby]

Do what you think is best. :)

please try and post things that are helpful to the conversation..

Tegan, you don't need a hospital. But you do need help. You need to sit down with your family and open the floodgates, tell them everything.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

but if i tell them, they'll never trust me again.
it doesnt matter if i'm telling them so i can quit,
plus it'll make it all the worse if i relapse.

[Bobby]

They will trust you more since your showing them that you have trust in them. I think if you tell them everything that they will help.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

but if i'm honest with myself, i dont think i'm quiting drugs all together, only untill court is done. alchohal is the only one i'm quitting for good.

[Maverick]

if no one can change on there own then this world is doomed.
i dont need to go to a hospital
Do you want to get better, yes or no?

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i guess if i'm completely honest, i dont see my life wrong with the drugs.
only the alchohal.
i want to get better in the mind.
but not about the drugs

[Maverick]

Drugs aren't giving you any benefits. It's only ruining your life. Nothing good has come from then and they're only making the situation worst. I understand that you can only tackle one thing at a time, but you either stop it all completely or you set yourself up for failure. Being addicted to any substance offers nothing but an unnecessary satisfaction that can be stopped and prevented.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i cant think of any time i was on a drug and i regret something, i've never done anything hurtful except the drug itself while on it. alchohal has made me make some of the stupidest decisions of my life.
i do drugs for fun. plain and simple.