bugals645
February 23rd, 2011, 03:21 PM
i have been struggling to figure out my sexuality for awhile now and i'm hoping someone can give me some insight. i know there's nothing wrong with being gay or anything but the fact that i may turn out to be a man who can't have a real relationship with women upsets just because of the idea that the whole natural reason people have sexual urges is to procreate. like i'm content with what i got but it kinda makes you feel like a prototype or something haha...
looking back i know men and women have always turned me on but it seems i have a more strong reaction to guys. it can be difficult to determine though and i feel i have anxiety that makes it even more difficult to assess. i dated a girl for two years and felt very strongly for her but there were complications. i never had any trouble getting hard until after we started having sex. i don't know if it was anxiety or something but i would lose wood right before penetration or just come within 5 secs and kind of a mixture. before i would finger her and get hand jobs and i think i enjoyed getting a hand job more than fingering her but both were enjoyable. now we are broken up because we moved to different places and i look back at it with grief as a fail; we had a lot of enjoyable physical times but i never really had sex with her the way i think it should be.
i don't really need to hear anything about how everyone is different or just go with the flow. i'm at a pretty still place in my life and am open to assess myself in anyway but i can't come up with clear answers.
i am wondering if there's anyone out there who can predict what my situation is based on what i just said. has anyone ever been attracted to girls but still can't have a real lasting relationship one? has anyone ever been in a strong relationship with a girl who you loved a lot but couldn't give good sex or maybe later realized it was only half as good as a gay relationship could be?
as far back as preschool i can remember getting aroused by one of my male friends, but in kindergarten i had a crush on a girl. i can't distinguish any crushes ever being on a guy but i was attracted to them. i remember first noticing girls in a sexual way around age 12 and from then i noticed them a lot and had secret crushes. i never really talked about girls though and that combined with an awkward locker room-type story many of my friends suspected me of being gay. that could be one of the reasons to my uncertainty but idk. i'm in a spot where i'm not sure what to do, i don't wanna repress anything but i'm worried that's what's going on. i can be aroused by both genders but i seem to not be clear headed enough to assess how i'm feeling. are there any signs or anything that could lead me in the right direction without more experience? is there any straight males out there that had similar problems with sex with their girlfriends?
looking back i know men and women have always turned me on but it seems i have a more strong reaction to guys. it can be difficult to determine though and i feel i have anxiety that makes it even more difficult to assess. i dated a girl for two years and felt very strongly for her but there were complications. i never had any trouble getting hard until after we started having sex. i don't know if it was anxiety or something but i would lose wood right before penetration or just come within 5 secs and kind of a mixture. before i would finger her and get hand jobs and i think i enjoyed getting a hand job more than fingering her but both were enjoyable. now we are broken up because we moved to different places and i look back at it with grief as a fail; we had a lot of enjoyable physical times but i never really had sex with her the way i think it should be.
i don't really need to hear anything about how everyone is different or just go with the flow. i'm at a pretty still place in my life and am open to assess myself in anyway but i can't come up with clear answers.
i am wondering if there's anyone out there who can predict what my situation is based on what i just said. has anyone ever been attracted to girls but still can't have a real lasting relationship one? has anyone ever been in a strong relationship with a girl who you loved a lot but couldn't give good sex or maybe later realized it was only half as good as a gay relationship could be?
as far back as preschool i can remember getting aroused by one of my male friends, but in kindergarten i had a crush on a girl. i can't distinguish any crushes ever being on a guy but i was attracted to them. i remember first noticing girls in a sexual way around age 12 and from then i noticed them a lot and had secret crushes. i never really talked about girls though and that combined with an awkward locker room-type story many of my friends suspected me of being gay. that could be one of the reasons to my uncertainty but idk. i'm in a spot where i'm not sure what to do, i don't wanna repress anything but i'm worried that's what's going on. i can be aroused by both genders but i seem to not be clear headed enough to assess how i'm feeling. are there any signs or anything that could lead me in the right direction without more experience? is there any straight males out there that had similar problems with sex with their girlfriends?