Not strong enough

[Nevermore]

So I've been self harming a lot lately. I've been recently wanting to go deeper and deeper. Seeing how much I can possibly bleed out, how wide the injury will be. Problem is there is no stop to this cycle. I get so angry and feel so weak with shallow cuts. I feel stupid, and just plain horrible. The small cuts don't do anything for me anymore, it's like a waste of a scar and a waste of a cut. I hate it. I hate this feeling. I can't wear short sleeves or shorts. I'm too scarred, I want to stop, I do, but I feel too weak to stop now. I just am affraid I'm going to go too deep and need stitches. Obviously the answer to my next question is going to be don't cut. My question was what do I do? I'm scared of myself.

[Ambrosia]

Saying "don't cut" is the silliest most naive thing to say only because most of us here know that just up and NOT DOING it is a joke (Not that it would be nice if we could). I've been there, though, all though I can't say I can relate only because we are two very different people. I'm in that spunk rather often and it's hard to snap out of it. If you remember why you don't want to cut in the first place it might help. Just remind yourself of the scars and the covering up that it takes afterwards. When I want to cut deeper I think of what could happen (and WOULD happen) if I went too deep. The horrifying problems to deal with when you start bleeding out too much, the hospital trip, the adults screaming over you. It's not worth it.

Someone told me once that when I want to cut really deep just think of someone I love. Pretend it's there arm you're about to cut. Would you really want to do that to them?

[1_21Guns]

I've said this in the past, and I'll say it again. That fear you have can be a very useful tool in stopping, think the worst, think of everything that could possibly come of the worst, think of all the effects on the people around you because of the worse. Fear, is infact very useful when it is used productively.
You're always strong enough to stop, no matter how many things seem to be weighing you down you can still stand strong. There's no such thing as being too weak, because while there's hope and want, there's always strength, and there's always hope, so you can't lose that strength you have, not ever.
It'll be okay Sammy :hug3:
Just stay strong, and feel free to PM me if you ever need someone, okay?

[Nevermore]

Thank you both so much, your advice helped a lot. I ended up failing last night, but not bad at all with keeping your words in mind. Thank you both. :)

[Ambrosia]

Thank you both so much, your advice helped a lot. I ended up failing last night, but not bad at all with keeping your words in mind. Thank you both. :)

Everyone fails and it's not a big deal. So it's okay! (: I'm glad we helped (: