Emergency. I ran away.

[Magenta]

I went to my psych appointment this morning. It was terrible. They made me talk in front of my dad even though I refused. I spilled everything about being suicidal and wanting to get away from my family. Eventually I was panicking so much I yelled at my dad to leave. I asked about keeping my phone or having Internet in the hospital and they said no and I argued. I can't feel like my family has abandoned me to the point I need hospitalization which terrifies me then be cut off from my friends. They are the only people I trust. They calm me down. I need them. I can't be alone.

The hospital will hurt me. They will make me hurt myself and go insane and make me panicked. I will overdose tonight if I go home. I ran away from my appointment and found my way to my favorite coffee shop and may move to the library.

I'm texting one of my adult friends for help but I'm so scared.

[Charleigh]

Hun. As for your dad being in the room and them making you spill, thats out of order and they arnt allowed to do that at all. You have a choice of privacy weither you want him there or not. Anyway, you have spilled now and its out in the open, now all you need to do hun is take it as it comes and get the correct help you need.

Also, now that you have spilled in front of your dad, he might realise that you were deadly serious about it all, and he might take it seriously now and stop being such a cunt towards you.

As for your phone, hun now is your chance to clear your head of everything and take some time out from the world and get your head sorted out. Instead of drowning in the now, think about it, later in a couple of weeks you will feel calmer and alot more able and ready to take shit head first.

If you feel like overdosing when you go home, then stay at a friends for the night until you can think straight. Just incase you go home and thinks kick up again, just stay at a friends until you think you are able and ready to face up to the music.

Good luck hun and I hope everything goes well, im here if you ever need anything
:hug:
Stay strong x

[Magenta]

No. I have to have contact with my friends. I need to access VT. I can't cope without people I trust and I trust no one in a hospital. I will run away or try to kill myself. Just that one little thing. They have to.

And I have no one I can stay with for the night.

[Cudder]

Calm down. Your venting about it on vt and vt is here to help

[Charleigh]

No. I have to have contact with my friends. I need to access VT. I can't cope without people I trust and I trust no one in a hospital. I will run away or try to kill myself. Just that one little thing. They have to.

And I have no one I can stay with for the night.

Maybe its best for you to be alone?

Think and have some space and time.

Im sure you will be allowed to ... write letters?

Your a VERY good poet Jo, while you are in their why dont you focus on making some poems and things, be more creative and have more head space in there. Think of this as a positive oppourtunity.

Calm down. Your venting about it on vt and vt is here to help

That helps?

[Magenta]

I can't calm down. I'm trying to plot how to die, while alone after hospital staff betrayed me. They forced me to talk in front of my dad after I refused and COULD NOT EVEN BREATHE. Fuck them. Fuck the cunts in this world. I'll prove a point. They do not have the right to fuck with people when their lives are concerned.

[Syvelocin]

You can't be hospitalized if you don't want to. They need your permission.
They won't let you have any contact with the outside world except for calling your parents. I know some places let computers in, but that's usually not the short-term places. But if you need VT, you don't have to go to the hospital. And if your parents want you there, screw them. I'm sorry, but, you're the only one who knows what's best for you. And they should know that. If you don't want to be hospitalized, fuck, don't go. Don't even try. You have the choice, make sure you know that. But if you're in there and decide you don't want to be there then, you can't get out of it.

Granted, whoever was evaluating you should have listened. If you don't want to talk in front of your dad, they should respect that. I fully understand that. You have every right in the world to do that shit your way. If you don't have anyone to stay with, you really should go back home. But know, your parents technically can't make you do anything once you're too heavy for them to pick up and throw into the car, which is usually about seven years old or so. They might get mad, but you don't have to do anything. If it's not right for you, don't oblige.

If you still want to go, you can have a friend of yours pose as your sister. Then they'll be able to visit you during the specified hours/days, to be there for you if you really want.

Take care hun. Double hugs for this
:hug:
:hug:

[Magenta]

Thank you, Rith, you have no idea how much that calmed me down.

[Fiction]

Jo, when I was in hospital, I ran away.

I know what's going through your head right now. You want to get out, you don't want to die, but you want to get out of your current situation. You don't want the hospital. If your situation is anything like mine, they'll call the police. Now think about it, would you prefer to go back to the hospital of your own accord, or being dragged by police?

Ring someone you really trust. Talk to them. See what they have to say. It's the only thing that made me go back.

I understand what you're going through Jo, feel free to contact me any time you need help.

[lengthy_brochure]

I have deleted the contents of this post

[Magenta]

So I am at home and I am safe. After thinking it through, I will go to the hospital next week. I will get better. Thank you for all your support today. It means a lot.

[Charleigh]

So I am at home and I am safe. After thinking it through, I will go to the hospital next week. I will get better. Thank you for all your support today. It means a lot.

I'm always here for you Jo :3