And I thought I was getting over it...

[georgiamay]

I haven't purged in about 2 weeks, and I've been pretty proud of myself. When my scales broke all those weeks ago, it drove me insane. I wanted to know my weight so much, I hated it. But after a while, the obession started to slow down. It was like not weighing myself meant I wasn't feeding the obsession, and I started to "get over it."

I'll admit, I have restricted, binged and fasted a few times, but only a few, and they were becoming less and less often, so I knew I was almost back to normal eating habits.

Then a few days ago, I don't know what the hell happened. I eat and I feel guilty, I hate it. I've eaten about 500 calories today, and I feel like a fat pig. I know it's not enough, I don't need anyone to tell me that. The fact that I don't know how much I weigh is starting to frustrate me again, and I'm so tempted to buy some new batteries, put them in when I'm using them and take them out afterwards so my parents don't go on a, "why so you care about your weight" speech. I got one of them when I mentioned the scales being broken.

Urgh, I don't know what to do. I thought I was getting over it, and now I can't stop thinking about calories, how many I've eaten how many I need to not eat to lose weight. I can't even look at myself in the mirror, I hate what I see.

/rant.

[1_21Guns]

You've just taken 3 steps forward and one step back, and now it's left you feeling like it's consuming you again, when in reality it isn't. The step backwards will only damage you as much as you let it, and you're strong enough to fight it. You said yourself that's not enough, so that clearly doesn't make you a fat pig.
You are getting over it Georgia, it's just a long and painful struggle, but you can do it, I believe in you. :hug3:
You know where I am, yeah?

[georgiamay]

You've just taken 3 steps forward and one step back, and now it's left you feeling like it's consuming you again, when in reality it isn't. The step backwards will only damage you as much as you let it, and you're strong enough to fight it. You said yourself that's not enough, so that clearly doesn't make you a fat pig.
You are getting over it Georgia, it's just a long and painful struggle, but you can do it, I believe in you. :hug3:
You know where I am, yeah?

Thanks Nat. :)

I just feel like I've failed again. Which is weird because I feel like I've failed even more when I do eat a decent amount of food.
I'm trying, but I just really don't want to eat.

[1_21Guns]

Thanks Nat. :)

I just feel like I've failed again. Which is weird because I feel like I've failed even more when I do eat a decent amount of food.
I'm trying, but I just really don't want to eat.

I know it's not easy, just try snacking on low calorie things and convince yourself it's okay, then slowly work up :hug3: