ShyGuyInChicago
February 22nd, 2011, 12:16 AM
http://blogs.forbes.com/carolinehoward/2011/02/21/mother-parenting-humiliation-bad-grades-ronda-holder-honk-if-i-need-education/
Ronda Holder believes in public shame as a desperate measure for desperate times. Is she wrong or right?
Ronda Holder is the mother of 15-year-old James Mond III, whose academic apathy and subpar 1.22 GPA proved to be her last straw. The Tampa, Fla., mother recently made her son stand on a street corner for nearly four hours with a sign that said (in part), “My name is James W. Mond III. GPA 1.222. Honk if I need [an] education.”
It worked. At least the honking part. Much honking.
This wasn’t her first attempt at trying to shore up the middle schooler’s grades, according to the AP. Holder and James’ father, Mond Jr., “offered help, asked to see homework, grounded and lectured him and confiscated his cell phone.”
“Until he straightens up his grades and gets his education on track, he’s going to work this corner,” his mother said, adding that since traditional punishment methods weren’t working, “embarrassing is the best thing. [James] don’t like to get embarrassed.”
It worked. At least the embarrassed part. “I felt crazy,” he told the St. Petersburg Times. “It’s embarrassing.”
The incident, shot by a TV crew, was investigated by the local Department of Children and Families, but Holder says she plans to continue the punishment for at least a week.
Child and adolescent psychologists typically think of this kind of extreme parenting as not only “humiliating and ineffective” but also mentally abusive. A DCF spokesman said the punishment might legally be considered a form of maltreatment.
In her defense, Holder, 33, a mother of six, “insists she’s fighting for her child’s education” so that he’ll have opportunities for a good job. Neither Holder, a hairdresser, or Mond Jr., a landscaper, graduated high school. “I don’t want any of my kids to stand by the side of the road asking for change,” Holder told the St. Petersburg Times.
Ironic that it is OK for him to stand by the side of the road begging for ridicule, but it’s a measure of her desperation and fear–any parent with a failing child can, if not condone, understand what Holder is doing. Even James gets it: “She was trying to teach me a lesson. I should have been working harder than I was in school.”
I can’t advocate for forcing your child to wear a dunce cap (or placard) on a street corner, but now that the Holder-Mond family problems have gone public, things are moving in a positive direction. James has promised to up his grades and is now enrolled in after-school tutoring.
Readers: Do you agree that tough love tactics like public embarrassment are sometimes necessary, especially when it comes to getting your kids to try harder in school? Or is it wrong and a form of maltreatment?
Ronda Holder believes in public shame as a desperate measure for desperate times. Is she wrong or right?
Ronda Holder is the mother of 15-year-old James Mond III, whose academic apathy and subpar 1.22 GPA proved to be her last straw. The Tampa, Fla., mother recently made her son stand on a street corner for nearly four hours with a sign that said (in part), “My name is James W. Mond III. GPA 1.222. Honk if I need [an] education.”
It worked. At least the honking part. Much honking.
This wasn’t her first attempt at trying to shore up the middle schooler’s grades, according to the AP. Holder and James’ father, Mond Jr., “offered help, asked to see homework, grounded and lectured him and confiscated his cell phone.”
“Until he straightens up his grades and gets his education on track, he’s going to work this corner,” his mother said, adding that since traditional punishment methods weren’t working, “embarrassing is the best thing. [James] don’t like to get embarrassed.”
It worked. At least the embarrassed part. “I felt crazy,” he told the St. Petersburg Times. “It’s embarrassing.”
The incident, shot by a TV crew, was investigated by the local Department of Children and Families, but Holder says she plans to continue the punishment for at least a week.
Child and adolescent psychologists typically think of this kind of extreme parenting as not only “humiliating and ineffective” but also mentally abusive. A DCF spokesman said the punishment might legally be considered a form of maltreatment.
In her defense, Holder, 33, a mother of six, “insists she’s fighting for her child’s education” so that he’ll have opportunities for a good job. Neither Holder, a hairdresser, or Mond Jr., a landscaper, graduated high school. “I don’t want any of my kids to stand by the side of the road asking for change,” Holder told the St. Petersburg Times.
Ironic that it is OK for him to stand by the side of the road begging for ridicule, but it’s a measure of her desperation and fear–any parent with a failing child can, if not condone, understand what Holder is doing. Even James gets it: “She was trying to teach me a lesson. I should have been working harder than I was in school.”
I can’t advocate for forcing your child to wear a dunce cap (or placard) on a street corner, but now that the Holder-Mond family problems have gone public, things are moving in a positive direction. James has promised to up his grades and is now enrolled in after-school tutoring.
Readers: Do you agree that tough love tactics like public embarrassment are sometimes necessary, especially when it comes to getting your kids to try harder in school? Or is it wrong and a form of maltreatment?