-Rant

[Love.Hate]

Maybe If i just stop lying i will feel better,
Maybe if i just told everyone how bad im really feeling.. No they wouldn't believe me.. Im "happy" fran.

I cant cope. I dont know what has driven me to become so full of hate towards myself, all i want to do is hurt, really really Hurt..

:(

Im so fucked up, everyone is so dissapointed with me.. My mum saw the state of my thighs today and i feel sick.. How could i be such a bitch to do this.. :/

I am staying up to stop myself from doing this, i will go too far.. i wont be able to stop. I feel so out of control right now.. My body is screaming for the pain.. Oh its midnight, so technically day 11, eleven fucking days and i feel even worse than i did at day one. There is no hope for the future.. Its at times like these i really wish i hadn't of chickend out.. Just taken a few more..

Oh what use is this, Basically nothing works. Im tired and fed up with life.. There is just nothing to live for.

-rant i guess.

[FullyAlive]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so bad :hug:

First I think your right, you need to tell them the truth, tell them how bad you are feeling it's the only way that getting help will work, you have to be honest. And if they don't believe you just keep trying make them believe you! You deserve to feel better and to do that you need help.

Maybe your mum seeing what you've done is a good thing? Now she will know that you do need some help. And remember eventually the scars will fade until only you really see them anymore.

I'm not sure how to help with feeling worse because I haven't sorted that out myself yet, you just have to keep hoping that one day you'll wake up and everything will feel that little bit better. And no you don't wish you'd taken a few more there is a reason you chickened out. It's because really deep down so far that you don't realise it right now, you know things will get better. One day but for that too happen you just have to keep fighting.
You've got everything to live for! Your whole life. If you died now these last 15 years would be a waste, everything you've struggled through would be for nothing and self harm would have won. Don't let it win. You are worth so much more than that!

Anytime you need to talk :hug: xxxxxxxx

[Love.Hate]

Thankyou, Im going to tell them.
If they don't believe me then thats their choice i suppose, And your right, im not going to let this win.. And waste 15 years. Im feeling a bit more positive now. Thankyou ever so much! :D

[FullyAlive]

It's fine always here to help. I'm glad you're feeling more positive. Let's try and keep it that way! But whenever you need to vent I'll listen :)