What does a break really mean and how long does it last?

[Hokage]

Hi I need advice big time, my girl and I had an amazing relationship up till now. It's only been a month yea I know not a long time. But it was our one month yesterday and she called me and told me that she wants a break between us. She told me that I'm an incredible guy,that I'm the best boyfriend she has had, that she still really likes me, and that she really still wants to be with me. But she said that she just needs to be single because she jumped into a relationship to early that it's her not me. I know those are just ways to candy coat a break up but she keeps on going to say that we are only friends..........for now. That's very misleading and I don't want to have false hope and fall into it then seeing her with another guy but still have feelings for her. I don't know what to do. I hurt really bad. I pretty much cried all I could cry yesterday but that doesn't help anymore. I know she needs her space I respect that I will give it to her but what do I do when I see her? (I'm sorry for seeming like I'm desperate for attention. I just don't know what to do)

[Rutherford The Brave]

It could mean any number of things, it could be good, but I have a feeling its not always a good thing. Its usually different when you've been with someone for awhile because its like the mood is tense and the two people need some space. But with a new relationship, you two havent really been together enough. Why would you take a break? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but usually this doesnt work out this early, and break tend to cause issues in any relationship.

[Ambrosia]

Girls never want to hurt a guys feelings (well, usually). And we will often times "candy coat" a break-up or offer a false sense of hope in order to preserve our own feelings to keep ourselves from feeling bad about it (we can be pretty self-centered when it comes to this). Honestly, try to slowly start letting yourself down from that Oh-So-Quick-Love-Feeling you had from her and start getting rid of that sense of hope you have. If she comes back then damn, you did find yourself a good girl. But you don't want to be standing in the rain sad when you find out she was just doing what happens most of the time and trying to preserve both yours and her feelings.

You're young.

You got a LOT of love ahead of you!

[kevinjk]

girls do this a lot, just take a break and don't think about it

[gingeylover14]

when u see her just treat her like you would any of your other girl friends (as in friends who r girls lol)

[Donkey]

It means you're bored of each other; frankly you may as well call it quits and move on.

[Hokage]

Thanks everyone, I realized all I could do is move on and whatever happens happens when she wants to start talking to me again she will come to me I won't force anything. Just keep my head up and everything will be okay right?

[Fact]

Hi I need advice big time, my girl and I had an amazing relationship up till now. It's only been a month yea I know not a long time. But it was our one month yesterday and she called me and told me that she wants a break between us. She told me that I'm an incredible guy,that I'm the best boyfriend she has had, that she still really likes me, and that she really still wants to be with me. But she said that she just needs to be single because she jumped into a relationship to early that it's her not me. I know those are just ways to candy coat a break up but she keeps on going to say that we are only friends..........for now. That's very misleading and I don't want to have false hope and fall into it then seeing her with another guy but still have feelings for her. I don't know what to do. I hurt really bad. I pretty much cried all I could cry yesterday but that doesn't help anymore. I know she needs her space I respect that I will give it to her but what do I do when I see her? (I'm sorry for seeming like I'm desperate for attention. I just don't know what to do)

Thanks everyone, I realized all I could do is move on and whatever happens happens when she wants to start talking to me again she will come to me I won't force anything. Just keep my head up and everything will be okay right?

It seems like you've taken the right attitude towards your situation - you can't know for sure what she's thinking and if she wants you then she'll come back. You're best to move on and not miss out on new experiences rather than waiting for her to return.

From reading what you initially said and the length of time you've been together, as someone previously pointed out it sounds like she got bored or became uninterested. There aren't many other obvious reasons as to why you'd need a break after only a month. If she really believed what she said about you being the best boyfriend ever, then chances are she wouldn't feel the need to be away from you if things were so great. It certainly sounds like she wanted to part from you without hurting your feelings, but ended up doing the opposite.

In the mean time, you seem like you're in better spirits now ^^ you'll find that you've forgotten about her in no time.

Good luck!

[Hokage]

Thank you, I found out some news yesterday that she was cheating on me at the time too. People told me that this guy is not good news either, that he is a big drinker, druggie, and just plays girls for sex then treats them badly afterwards. I confronted her about it and asked if she candy coated everything and she admit it after hearing that I just let go of the false hope she gave me. Then I asked if she cheated on me and she said " No you are a wonderful guy, I wouldn't cheat on you, you deserve better than that" In my mind I'm thinking " BS BS BS" but I say "Okay do you have a new boyfriend?" She says " Well I don't know if he is wait .......... yes he is." I'm thinking... why did she have to wait to confirm it hahah. Then I ask her one last time "Is this the guy you cheated on me with?" and she just screams and I quote " NO I DIDN'T FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU WITH HIM, I NEVER FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?" I say " Well the evidence leads up you want me to say I broke up with you so you look defenseless and so people don't think badly of you when you say you went from me to him so quickly." And here's where she slipped up "WELL I DIDN'T DO IT I JUST CANCELLED PLANS WITH YOU 3 TIMES TO GO HANG WITH HIM WE ONLY MADE OUT!" I respond with "Oh I see you finally tell me the truth." she just screams "OH FUCK GOD DAMN IT!" and I say "Yup." and then she starts apologizing and stuff and that if I still want to be friends with her I should just drop it now! Hahah I said okay that's fine I just needed to know these things. After I hung up I felt like a whole load was lifted off my shoulders! I felt so happy afterwards the best part is that I know she is with that ahole and when he hurts her she is going to cry so hard. Well I thank you guys for reading this if you got this far. I am now for sure going to have the confidence to not care anymore. I guess I just needed the closure that's all ^__^ I'm sorry if it seems like it's story telling. I love this forum! I can't wait to see her face tomorrow when she sees that I'm happy again. Single and just out to have fun! I'm young there is no rush ^__^

[MariettaNate1995]

She is just being nice to you. She doesn't want to hurt you, but she doesn't want to date you either. Maybe she realized that she'd rather have you as a friend or maybe she has found another guy she likes more.

[Deathwingo0o]

I have the same beginning but different ending. Be happy that she at least told you nicely. This means you are still in her heart or something like that.

[Fact]

I have the same beginning but different ending. Be happy that she at least told you nicely. This means you are still in her heart or something like that.

You evidently didn't read his second post where he said that she's a liar, a cheater and keeps bad company.

I'm glad you found your closure! Now you can see for sure that you're not missing out on anything and that if you REALLY meant anything to her, she wouldn't have cheated multiple times and then lied about it.

[Hokage]

You evidently didn't read his second post where he said that she's a liar, a cheater and keeps bad company.

I'm glad you found your closure! Now you can see for sure that you're not missing out on anything and that if you REALLY meant anything to her, she wouldn't have cheated multiple times and then lied about it.


Thank you very much! Yea the two people above you didn't read my 2nd post. Also I would rather be broken up with harshly with the truth rather than candy coated with false hope because after I found out the truth I felt soooooo much better to me being truthful and honest is what matters to me the most.

She also told me that she hates guys that drink, do drugs, and smoke. I think she doesn't know what she is in store for...........


Please don't double post - ShatteredWings