Why do parents freak out?

[RaineBow]

Im not pregnant, and none of my friends are pregnant, but I was just bored and a question popped into my mind. Why do a lot of parents freak out when they find out their 16 year old is pregnant/ or got someone pregnant? Is it because they realize their child is grown up now, or that their child wasn't being responsible? It's a stupid question.. I was just wondering.... :what::confused:

[Quick_Sylver]

"Babies having babies".

Thats their mindset. Their child is boom, pregnant, and they still see them as a child. Thus, they feel like they a) Messed up as parents, b) Didnt do enough to prevent it, c) Think its wrong because of how they're raised.

[Sugaree]

They freak because they believe they did something wrong. The parents believe that they failed in their task to raise their children correctly. I'm sure it's a disheartening thing for a parent to see their daughter pregnant and not even out of high school. But really, it isn't their fault. If they tell their kids or not about safe sex, it's always up to the kids to make the final decision. So really it isn't the parent's fault, it's the kids'.

[Vkid]

cuz they wonder how the hell are they gunna support another child

tbh 99% of 16yo can't support a baby by themselves

[nick]

It depends on the social background and education level of the family. Here in England some families wouldnt give a toss if their 16 year old became pregnant. But for others it would seem as if the girl had ruined her chances of completing her education and had therefore screwed up her whole future.

[LTikes]

Since parents are legally responsible for their 16yo, guess who else they are now responsible for? That's in addition to what's been said above.

[Fact]

Im not pregnant, and none of my friends are pregnant, but I was just bored and a question popped into my mind. Why do a lot of parents freak out when they find out their 16 year old is pregnant/ or got someone pregnant? Is it because they realize their child is grown up now, or that their child wasn't being responsible? It's a stupid question.. I was just wondering.... :what::confused:

Out of the two options you've given, I'd say neither. Parents aren't likely to be concerned on whether their child is or isn't grown up at 16, same goes for how responsible they are. I doubt that any 16 year old can effectively support a child, so their parent's problem will most likely be this (unless it's the family norm or mindset, in which case it won't be as much of an issue) as it means they have another mouth to feed and their child's life is effectively over as they knew it.

[smitty35]

No, the reason they are pissed at that is becuz they have another mouth to feed.

[canyon]

I think it's because in the parent's eye you're too young to be able to support a child. Raising a baby costs thousands of dollars, and most teenagers don't have a career yet to make that kind of money. Also, the question of raising the baby comes to mind. You're going to be at school all day, so how are you going to care for your new child?

I guess they see it as the end to your life. You're suddenly grown up and responsible for this baby and everything you do from that point on has to revolve around raising your baby.

[Hermes]

I think there has got to be an element of it being a sudden wakeup call - parents are, I think, predisposed to see their children and younger and less mature than they really are as parents have all the memories of that child growing up through the years but no crystal ball to see the future.

Depending on the social situation there can also be a degree of embarrassment - Good (middle-class, Christian etc.) families like our don't do stupid things like that!

The above two apply whatever decision is reached about the pregnancy.

If an abortion is mooted as a possibility there can be a religious and moral dilemma and there is a risk the daughter will make a choice the parents find morally unacceptable or the parents will try to persuade the daughter into a course of action she finds morally unacceptable.

If the daughter keeps the baby there are then a series of practical issues too:

If the parents had hoped their daughter would go on to get a higher education (college, university) and go on to get a more highly paid job this is now made much harder or even impossible depending on other choices.

If a daughter does remain in education that effectively transfers some or all of the burden of raising the child, at least in the early years, to the parents who, while they have more experience, may have age against them in their ability to cope with disturbed sleep and stress and general keeping up with a youngster.

There will also be a financial burden in supporting the child that would have been bourne by the daughter and her partner had she waited until a better time, i.e. with a stable relationship and maybe stable employment to get some savings before the birth.

Whatever happens the problems/decisions are much harder than using a condom or taking the pill.

[Fact]

I think there has got to be an element of it being a sudden wakeup call - parents are, I think, predisposed to see their children and younger and less mature than they really are as parents have all the memories of that child growing up through the years but no crystal ball to see the future.

Depending on the social situation there can also be a degree of embarrassment - Good (middle-class, Christian etc.) families like our don't do stupid things like that!

The above two apply whatever decision is reached about the pregnancy.

If an abortion is mooted as a possibility there can be a religious and moral dilemma and there is a risk the daughter will make a choice the parents find morally unacceptable or the parents will try to persuade the daughter into a course of action she finds morally unacceptable.

If the daughter keeps the baby there are then a series of practical issues too:

If the parents had hoped their daughter would go on to get a higher education (college, university) and go on to get a more highly paid job this is now made much harder or even impossible depending on other choices.

If a daughter does remain in education that effectively transfers some or all of the burden of raising the child, at least in the early years, to the parents who, while they have more experience, may have age against them in their ability to cope with disturbed sleep and stress and general keeping up with a youngster.

There will also be a financial burden in supporting the child that would have been bourne by the daughter and her partner had she waited until a better time, i.e. with a stable relationship and maybe stable employment to get some savings before the birth.

Whatever happens the problems/decisions are much harder than using a condom or taking the pill.

I love how you've focussed entirely on the female, as if she magically spawned a child inside of her and whoever got her pregnant has nothing to do with the consequences of creating a new life.

I believe that's another issue with young people having babies - they have little or no stability in their lives. Whether that be with their relationships or money or school or whatever, they just haven't found their feet in the world yet. How are they then supposed to help a baby find their feet if they haven't even found their own yet? They won't. It just breeds failure.

[MyRedHeadWorld]

Its like the first person said, 'Babies having babies' cause I mean there at an age where there now more responsible for themselves but not fully, and tbh, you should wait and live your life before all the resposibliitly of having your own child, and your parents want you to have the fullist life you can before setteling down
They dont want you to look back and think "I had a child at 16, what else have I accomplished" cause that makes them think they failed as parents...
My opnion anyway :D

[Hermes]

I love how you've focussed entirely on the female, as if she magically spawned a child inside of her and whoever got her pregnant has nothing to do with the consequences of creating a new life.

Believe me I know full well that it takes two to make a baby and I was certainly not suggesting that the girl is any more of less to blame than the boy. The reality is, though, that given they have both made a mistake she is the one who has the harder time.

The boy should certainly do some serious thinking and he has options too, depending on how the girl feels. He can stick around and continue to be involved in the raising of the child. He can also run away from the situation and continue with his education and life plans as if nothing had happened and, crucially, he doesn't have to kill the baby to do that.

[Kaycie]

Getting pregnant at 16 does not mean a girl is "all grown up."

[MariettaNate1995]

They freak out because not only are their kids having kids before they thought they would but also because they feel that they have failed as parents. While a girl can finish high school and college after getting pregnant at 16, that is really the exception. Parents want their kids to have better lives than they did, they want them to go to college, they want them to have a chance to grow up.