My Best Friend

[Greggy]

Well, I met my best friend a couple years ago by random chance at lunch in the 10th grade. We started talking, and realized we had a lot of stuff in common, and pretty soon everyone knew that wherever I was she was, and She I. We were inseparable. She knew everything about me, and I knew everything about her. She knew things no one else in the world knows about me.

She became my lifeline, I had a long history of abusive parents, and it would drive me to the point of suicide, she saved my life at least 3 times.

Well our first summer break came, and we kept in contact through phone, and internet, and the occasional trips to the mall/sleepovers. Then about midway through summer she got her first boyfriend since 6th grade. It was going well, she was happy, we got along. Then our 11th grade years started, and her boyfriend broke up with her, and I was sad for her, and I hated that guy. I sat there and supported her and helped her through it. Being a great friend, well I also started meeting other friends too, and we all became like this huge clique of friends, it was great, the best moment of my life.

But she was still my BEST friend, and we still spent more time together than with anyone else.... Untill around a few months later she got her second boyfriend, who she dumped in a week for her third boyfriend, who she dumped in two days for the same second boyfriend, who she dumped in a couple weeks for the same third boyfriend. I found this ridiculous, and I kind of just shyed away from talking to her and built better relationships with my other friends, and she was too obsessed with having a love life to care.

It was a constant need for her to have a lover, she was completely co-Dependant by this time and I was getting worried. So I went back to her, and rekindled our friendship, which didn't last long.

Which brings me to my final problem.

She never has time for me anymore. Each time I want to hang out she says she can't because she has to spend time with "Steven" she keeps saying that maybe next Saturday we can hang out, but then she makes plans with Steven. Every post on facebook, or picture she adds to deviantart is about Steven. She's completely forgotten about me and all she wants is Steven. It's like I don't even know her anymore.

Is this my mistake for a having a girl bestfriend? Was this bound to happen?

[Quahog]

People change change within the course of a day. In this case, it took a few years. I guess it's time to question your friendship with this girl. Do you ever get the chance to sit and talk to her ever? I'm sure that if you explain your problems to her, this can all get worked out. She should be able to have time for her love life, and she should have time to spend with you. That isn't right.

You should remind her of how long the both of you have been friends. Tell her that she is going to throw your friendship out for her boyfriend? That doesn't seem right. I'm sure she is just love blind for right now. Agree on a date to hang out, and talk about it. I'm sure she wants to be your friend, she just has different priorities, and she has a hard time keeping her friendships and her relationships. Just talk to her, it will be fine. :)

[Greggy]

Well, today I realized that she is more concerned with her boyfriend to pay any attention to any of her friends, I'm about to just quit trying.

3 Hours ago.

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h38/ebuddyfalmsday12/Untitled-8.png




A Few Minutes ago:

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h38/ebuddyfalmsday12/Untitled2.png

A Couple minutes after that:

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h38/ebuddyfalmsday12/Untitled3-1.png



It's almost as if she doesn't need us anymore, but I guess I'm more worried that she's going to run us all away, and then something happen and we won't be there for her. Because basically we're just her optional shoulder to cry on when her boyfriend isn't available. (Which isn't likely.)

[Quahog]

Wow this is really confusing. Well the ball is in your court. If you had it up to here with her, then let it go, but if you think you are going to throw your friendship away over her boyfriend, then you can go with that. I think she is in love, and I don't think she can help who she is in love with. You can either accept that she was to be involved with her boyfriend, or let her go, because she is pretty much forgetting you exist. Good luck, I hope things go well for you.

[Greggy]

So basically i just lose my best friend?

[Quahog]

Not exactly. But it's like if your a boss of a company. You have an employee who day after day, he doesn't do the work right, do you keep him around, and hope that he is going to get better, or do you toss him out so you don't run out of business. That is the choice you have to make with your friend.

[Greggy]

I'm the one being thrown out though....

[Quahog]

The bottom line, you have to make a decision. You stay friends with her or you don't. If you want to remain friends you have to be patient. Talk to her. If she won't listen, or she isn't available, just be patient. I just don't think it is worth it for you guys to through away your friendship, just because she found a boyfriend. I'm sure she could be able to work around her relationship life, and her friendship life surely? Sometimes, we have to be patient, even with our best friends. Friends will fight from time to time, or something will come up, and that causes them to not really keep in touch. We either try to make up for it, by becoming friends again, or we decide not to see this person anymore. I can't make that choice for you. She is your friend. You should be able to know her inside and out. You have to make a choice, as to whether or not you think she is going to be able to spend time with you, while she is with her boyfriend. Really, I just wish you luck, and hopefully you can be able to make that decision.

[domrecivinsol]

Is this my mistake for a having a girl bestfriend? Was this bound to happen?

I definitely think that it is NOT your fault for having a girl best friend. A best friend is a best friend, a friend is a friend, no matter what the gender. I think that you should be happy that you had so many good times with her. all relationships change with time, romantic or platonic. This is just another change in the cycle. hope that helps. :)

[MariettaNate1995]

It is very difficult for a guy to have a girl as a best friend. I've got two different girls that I've been very good friends with for a long time. I really thought of them as just friends until one started dating someone. It actually hurt me. I really didn't think I liked her as much as I've really found out that I do.

My advice to you is that if you feel this way, ask her out at the earliest possible time. Don't loose her if you think you really do love her.

[Rubber]

well the thing is that your trying too hard. You need to give her some space. The only person your hurting is yourself because she has someone to hang out with and you dont. Im not saying forget about her, but dont be afraid to hang out with different people more. And i bet when she breks up with this steven guy, she'll need a friend to cry on, i.e. YOU

[Contra]

My best friends are mostly girls, so the gender is not a problem in my opinion, because I have always been like that and my friendships are very good.
I know what you're going through, in my case, with two other friends, they started hanging around with another group and stopped hanging around with us like they did, that led to fights and now I don't talk to one of them and my friendship with the other one could be better, but it was due to other factors (actually, boyfriends), in both cases.

Well, I am going to give you two choices:
- You talk to her and expose your feelings to her like you did here, which is the best option in my opinion, tell her that you're perfectly fine with her having a boyfriend, but she mustn't forget her friends;

- Or you can ignore her and when she does break up with him make her suffer just a little bit, and when I say suffer, is like not giving your shoulder for her to cry on, or else she'll do it again when this happens for the next time. After that, she'll realize that friends are important too, and in my opinion, more than boyfriends/girlfriends, because in our age they are mostly temporary.

Best of luck! :)