i dont know why...

[Lonely_Shadow]

im hurt or why i even care. here ill explain,

Today during school after 5th period a girl who is one out of my two only close friends, said to me that her and her BF were hanging out 2 weeks ago and she gave him a hand job and he fingered her. And idk even kno why she told me even though he knew i liked her. maybe to see my reaction or wutever, not the point. but wen she told me idk why but i felt hurt, but i have no right to its her life and her decisions, not mine to judge her on. yet i also cared not like a jealous caring but caring like thinking that some how she would get hurt. But idk why i feel like this, maybe its because im lonely and have no one who will always try to be there when i need them. i remember i read this quote in a sig before it said " I don't need to be everything to everyone, i just want to be something to someone." and this is basically what ive wanted for a good year now, and another thing, im only in middle school, why should i care so much?

urggggggggggg its more of a rant but any advice?

[Myrnodin]

I do have a little advice, dont be so rough on yourself, I understand your feelings, because I used to feel like that all the time a few years ago. And there is nothing really bad about getting a bit jealous from time to time. Have you tried to talk to your friend? Tell her how you feel? I assume you are closer to her than this other guy right? Let her listen to your heart, it will realease a lot of feeling you have. :)

[Lonely_Shadow]

i know what you mean but im not sure i've never even talked with her BF, so idk who is closer with her, but i want to talk to her but there's never any good times, i only see her once a day fifth period in English which isn't the best time and i like to talk in person more that by texting, even IM would do. im gonna try to see if can get some time alone but since she does have many friends its hard to get alone to talk one on one. thanks for the advice

EDIT: and for some reason when im alone or not talking i cant stop thinking about talking to her...