I don't even know

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't know. I used to know. Even when he was always here, I always had a certainty. Just to die. He's not even here, but he is always is, I cant see him, or hear him, but it's like he's always here, he's always whispering in my ear.

And I'm being forced to get help, no choice, but it doesn't feel right. I feel worse. I don't what's coming, I just know it's got worse, and it will get worse. I always had the certainty, beat him by dying, end the pain and kill him. But now I don't know at all. I can't cure what ive got, I'l be stuck with it forever. I have no idea.

[Fiction]

Matt, i've just got help and I feel worse too. We just have to hold on to the fact that it will get better though. You have to keep going with that thought in mind. KBO!

[MadManWithaBox]

Is that enough though? I used to think it was, and I'm not sure now.

[Fiction]

Well, it'll have to be won't it? You end it now and you'll never have the chance to see if the future can get better. Whatever happens, there is always later. What harm will keeping on that little longer do?

[MadManWithaBox]

The constant pain, and sickness. Plenty of bad days

[Fiction]

But then one day for them to end? And things to be happy and better.

[MadManWithaBox]

I can't ever see that ever happen. It just hurts so much, I ended up getting locked up here, I'm pathetic