Will we be like them?

[-Silence]

Do you think it's true that we'll be just like our abuser?

I mean really, what are the odds that you can have a normal family without doing the same to your child that was done to you?

I don't want to be like her, I want a family, I want to love someone and be happy and I want to be a good parent. But I'm scared. What if I turn out just like my mother without even knowing it? What if I lose my temper and I turn into her? What if I push away anyone and everyone that loves me, and do exactly to that child what was done to me?

Is it possible to know before you have a family or do I continue to push away everyone because of that fear?

Will we be like them?


(Sorry, just what was going through my head)

[mRojas2000]

See? This is what happens when someone gets abused... they become unsure about themselves and they are scared to be the same person that abused them...
What I think : No, I don't think you'll be like her :hug:

[Bobby]

Well, since you don't like your abuse, and you wanna love somebody, you prob won't turn out like that.

[TheWizard]

I agree you are you're own guide not the abuser.

[Sapphire]

No, it seems very unlikely that you will turn out like her. You long for a steady, safe, loving relationship and I reckon you will become part of a loving relationship.

[megamikey59]

You idiots. You WILL 100% be like her, unless you get counseling. Listen to love line. Jeez. The doctor says anybody who is abused will tend to be like their abuser or have a gf/bf just like their abuser unless they get counseling. So f'ing get counseling if you don't want to be like your mom. I hate you mom by the way. Sorry but I just do. I hate anybody who abuse anybody. Period! I'm sorry, I think everybody are idiots except Danielle. So get counseling or you WILL be abused even more by your bf/gf or be the abuser. This is the truth, at least Doctor Drew says so and every other Doctor. I'm pissed off at you people for saying you're saying. Silence needs counseling and/or a psychologist!

[mRojas2000]

Dude, you don't even know what you're talking about... also, doctors aren't 100% accurate always... actually, they never are... and we don't care what that Doctor Drew says, so stfu

[Sapphire]

You idiots. You WILL 100% be like her, unless you get counseling...anybody who is abused will tend to be like their abuser or have a gf/bf just like their abuser unless they get counseling. So f'ing get counseling if you don't want to be like your mom. I'm sorry, I think everybody are idiots except Danielle. So get counseling or you WILL be abused even more by your bf/gf or be the abuser. This is the truth, at least Doctor Drew says so and every other Doctor. I'm pissed off at you people for saying you're saying. Silence needs counseling and/or a psychologist!

What solid evidence is there to say that EVERYONE who is abused will enter into more damaging relationships in later life? One of my friends (55) was sexually abused as a child. But he is not an abuser. He was not abused further. He also did not go to a psychologist or counselling. He IS however, the kindest and most gentle person I know. Go figure.

And using Doctor Drew as your reference is not impressive, nor is it concrete evidence.

Silence, if you want to change. If you want to break free of the abusive relationship pattern then you will succeed and avoid in turing into your abuser.

[ThePhantom]

According to the book...

Most people abused do not usually become the abusers however most of the abusers were the abused.

That is not a confucius quote either.

Tide- milkguy lrn2take psychology and dont harass my friends

[megamikey59]

Fine, I'm stupid. I'm just saying what everybody else fucking says. If you fucking want proof come over to my house. I'll take you to every doctor, psychologist, and fucking counselor. They'll all fucking say yes. Every doctor, counselor, psychologist, teacher, adult I've asked all said yes, unless you get some type of counseling.

[Bobby]

Let's calm down, and avoid calling people stupid.

[mRojas2000]

No one said the word STUPID 'till he did :)

[Barelythere]

im worried i will be like my dad too, when people annoy me and i get angry i lash out and mess things up, what if i take it too far and hurt someone, and carry on because im so mad,i dont want to hurt anyone, i try not to i turn it to myself and hurt myself, i dont want to make anyone hurt like he makes me hurt, but i so scared i will :(

[Bobby]

Harrie, I know your too soft (not a bad thing) to do anything like that.. don't worry.

[megamikey59]

I call everybody idiots. They just are. Smartest person in history only used 15% of his brain? How idiotic is that? We're all idiots. So if you ban me for saying the truth, you're messed up. It's the stupid truth. And BlazingStar* go to counseling. If you're really that sad about hurting others then take counseling. I don't give a crap about anybody and if somebody get me mad I'll lash out at them or myself, and won't care. It IS their fault for getting me mad.

[Bobby]

Pul-lease! Don't ruin this thread. I would hate to lock it, but if you keep having these outbursts of meaness. I will have to lock this and give you and infraction.

[mRojas2000]

I call everybody idiots. They just are. Smartest person in history only used 15% of his brain? How idiotic is that? We're all idiots. So if you ban me for saying the truth, you're messed up. It's the stupid truth. And BlazingStar* go to counseling. If you're really that sad about hurting others then take counseling. I don't give a crap about anybody and if somebody get me mad I'll lash out at them or myself, and won't care. It IS their fault for getting me mad.

Ok...

What if the post intelligent person used 15% of their brain?? Do you ever imagine all we could store if we used 100% of our brain?? sSo useless stuff... I don't even wanna imagine.. my brain would explode.

No one's gonna bann you for telling what you think... they are gonna bann you cause you are flamming everyone telling them that they are gonna be abusers if they don't do a certain thing, without even knowing them a little bit...

Carol (BlazingStar*) should not go to counceling.. yo don't know her a bit (neither reallu do I) so don't go everywhere telling everyone what they should do and what they shouldn't... let people be!

And we got you mad for not agreeing with you?? wtf is that?? I dn't agree with you at all, you are saying stuff that make no sence, telling that doctors are always 100% right when they never are, that these people are gonna be abusers... this is ridiculous!! WE should be the ones mad, we are not calling anyone abusers.

[megamikey59]

I'm not mad. And I never gotten mad from this site. Why do people think I get mad easily? I DON'T get mad that easily. I'm one of those people who takes anger out on somebody or themself when they get too filled up with anger. I wouldn't take my anger out on this site. Fine, be mad. I don't care what you think. And yes, they should go to counseling or psychology, but if they don't want to, they don't have to. Fine, I'm wrong. Doctors aren't 100% correct but they're mostly always correct. They do research and studies and tests before they tell the public. My everything my doctor, said, about this, had came true. He told me that I will most likely hold my anger in until I can't help it anymore. He told my mom if she didn't go to counseling she'll keep dating bad guys and abusing kids.

[mRojas2000]

I call everybody idiots. They just are. Smartest person in history only used 15% of his brain? How idiotic is that? We're all idiots. So if you ban me for saying the truth, you're messed up. It's the stupid truth. And BlazingStar* go to counseling. If you're really that sad about hurting others then take counseling. I don't give a crap about anybody and if somebody get me mad I'll lash out at them or myself, and won't care. It IS their fault for getting me mad.

I'm not mad. And I never gotten mad from this site. Why do people think I get mad easily? I DON'T get mad that easily. I'm one of those people who takes anger out on somebody or themself when they get too filled up with anger. I wouldn't take my anger out on this site. Fine, be mad. I don't care what you think. And yes, they should go to counseling or psychology, but if they don't want to, they don't have to. Fine, I'm wrong. Doctors aren't 100% correct but they're mostly always correct. They do research and studies and tests before they tell the public. My everything my doctor, said, about this, had came true. He told me that I will most likely hold my anger in until I can't help it anymore. He told my mom if she didn't go to counseling she'll keep dating bad guys and abusing kids.

How about you re-reading your post :rolleyes:

And doctors are not always 100% sure... why do you think there people who actually die on operations and everything else?? I don't think Dr. Drew has talked to you about those anyway...
Also being an abuser all your life is something... I don't think that if someone gets abused at something like a rasonble age such as 20 or more being an enough of mature person, I don't think you will become an abuser... instead, you will be soooo against it now tha you know how it feels. Being a child is something else... you don't really know what really happened, and if that was really wrong or not... the child can decide to become an abuser, or not... it deppends on how they feel about what happened; people near them also influence their choises... obviously, if they are taken away from the abuser, they are gonna think that there's got to be something wrong... what could it be?? :rolleyes: not every child is stupid and only thinks about being 6.

[megamikey59]

Everybody is stupid. It's a fact. I'm sorry if anybody's offended but we only DO use 15% of our brains maxium. It IS their fault for getting me mad.I'm just saying it IS their fault. I wasn't mad posting that. And I never said anything about Doctor Drew in my last post. I was talking to my doctor. The doctor I get my prescriptions and all that from. That's the doctor I'm talking about, not Doctor Drew. By the way, Doctor Drew's the guy in my love line listener signature. If you don't think I'll be an abuser than you HAVE no idea who or what I'm capable of. I am an abuser. I hate it but I try to take my anger out on myself so I won't abuse anybody. I just wish people would see my true self when I'm mad and send me to jail just for that, so I can't harm anybody but actually bad people. I hate it when people think others aren't abusers just from looking at them. Everybody at my school think I'm a good boy. The teacher's pet. I don't get in trouble at school so they think I'm all organized and all good at home. *sighs*

[Bobby]

Stop figthing.. stay on topic. I will give an automatic warning to anyone who continues to fight.

[Barelythere]

miguel, im harrie not carol!!!! omg i cant believe you got forgot who i was!!!!!!! im hurt, and micky i have tried councelling its crap, and it doesnt help, is there no other way to stop me being like dad?? xxx

[Bobby]

Harrie, I don't think you need to worry about it. Your too caring, I don't think you'd ever do anything like that.

[megamikey59]

Yea, but it's hard to break the f'ed up chain by yourself. And yes I was f'ing abused. Now I'm mad cause you had to remind me of my f'ed up step dad. Luckily I have Elizabeth and Danielle to calm me down. I've been to counseling. I know it makes things worse. All adults I've talked to said counseling goes bad and makes you suicidal then goes better. It TAKES a while. Doing it all by yourself will take a while too, much more. I think. And Diego, I can easily make you believe that I'm one of the nicest guys in the world. It's not that hard. I've fooled soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many people by making them think I'm super super nice. I'm not fighting with anybody.

[-Silence]

.....Sorry

[Sapphire]

What are you sorry for? You haven't done anything wrong

[megamikey59]

Yea, why are you sorry? All you've done was ask a question. What's wrong with that? From all the arguing, I'd say it's a good question.

[mRojas2000]

miguel, im harrie not carol!!!! omg i cant believe you got forgot who i was!!!!!!! im hurt, and micky i have tried councelling its crap, and it doesnt help, is there no other way to stop me being like dad?? xxx

:hug: I'm sorry everyone has been changing names and its confusing me!!

[megamikey59]

Stop hackign me mRojas2000! (lol) Oh well, I don't know nobodys name so don't get mad at me. Only person's name I know here is Miguel's because of his signature. And myself.

Silence, We're still wondering why you are sorry. So how about you telling us? You did NOTHING wrong. Not one single thing.

I should be the one saying sorry. Everybody here think I'm wrong. So, I guess I'll say it. I'm sorry I might've scared you. I'm sorry I said what I said.

[Hyper]

Ok first the only way the abused will be like the abuser is when they become one, meaning theyl most commonly use the same techniques.......


But its your choice realy, if you want to be weak and take it out on someone weaker then yes you'l be like the abuser

[Maverick]

I believe everyone has control over his or her future and nobody is pre-destined to do anything. You have a choice on who you want to be.

[megamikey59]

I believe everyone has control over his or her futureYea, that's true. Hopefully.... I don't believe it that much but I want to.

[mRojas2000]

Dude.. you seem like a pretty sad person!!

I mean, you have very low selfconfidence and moral, you don't think you can change your future, you don't beleive in love, everyone who was abused HAS to go to a councelor... cheer up man!

[Maverick]

Yea, that's true. Hopefully.... I don't believe it that much but I want to.
You may not see it now. Life goes on.

[Sapphire]

You may not see it now. Life goes on.

So true :)

[megamikey59]

Ok, fine I'm a discrase. (I think I spelt that wrong but you know what I mean) I really don't care. cheer up man! Blah. Maybe I don't want to.

everyone who was abused HAS to go to a councelor... I said I was sorry. And I was wrong. Now leave me alone with that crap.

I believe everyone has control over his or her future and nobody is pre-destined to do anything. You have a choice on who you want to be.I just read something at my school. This is exact if I can remember clearly

Watch your thoughts,
they become your actions.
Watch your actions,
they become habits.
Watch your habits,
they become your character.
Watch your character,
it becomes your destiny.

So yea, you do have complete control over your destiny. But it's hard to change habits. I don't know if that's true or not but but it's exactly what the poster says at my school.

[Maverick]

I know that poster you're taking about. My 9th grade English teacher had it up on her wall.

It's never too late to change. Nothing is ever permanent. if you really want to change you will. If you're not motivated and expect to get it done with no effort you're only fooling yourself. The best way to change is to do things out of your comfort zone. Like for example, going to a party. It opens yourself up to new things and you'll change as you do new things.

[megamikey59]

Woah! Now I'm freaked out. My English teacher has it on her wall. Maybe we go to the same school. Wow.
Well, actually it's this. I'm redoing the top part. That's exactly what it is on the poster.

Watch your thoughts,
they become words.
Watch your words,
they become your actions.

[henry827]

quote:
Doctors aren't 100% correct but they're mostly always correct.

according to statistics if your feet are in an oven and your head in a deep freezer then you should feel pretty average

[Atonement]

Wow, two year old thread, Locked.