Suicide

[Triceratops]

No, this is not a "Omg I can't do this anymore. I'm going to end it all. This is my last post forever. Goodbye everyone" thread.

I just think that giving suicide a serious consideration everyday is getting...weird. It's not normal. Lmao the word 'normal' does't even exist in my life. :rolleyes:

There's no other way I can put this without sounding so emo: I'm sick of it all. Having recurring thoughts of suicide for years and having several suicide attempts (one of which I was more than extremely close to death) I am surprised I'm still here today.

I feel like everything's at a dead end. I can't see where I'm going and what's going to be different. I make myself physically sick with misery and distress everyday and there's only so much "pretending I'm fine" I can get away with. Lots of people are beginning to pick up on everything. I recently had to force myself to tell my friends what the actual fuck is going on with me - which is something I haven't ever done in my life. Everything is slowly coming out in the open and is becoming obvious to others around me - and I can't deal with that.

The person I'm most scared of is myself, for the simple fact that I know there's a good chance of me not being here tomorrow.

I'm not asking for any help or advice here - in fact, I never do in any of my psych ward posts.

[MadManWithaBox]

I know you're not looking for advice or anything, but here it is. I've tried to kill myself, I dunno, 4 serious attempts now. And every time, I've wondered why did I come back? Why did they force me back to this stupid fucking existence, with no point at all, cos they keep saying the light is at the end of the tunnel, and I didn't think it was.

hey did because, those thoughts aren't normal. I know it seems obvious, but you get to a mindset where things like that seem to be normal to you. They're not.

You're still here because, other people can see that. they know the light is there, just maybe very dim. And you have to keep going towards, and strive for something more than this existence, because we(you) deserve better than that.

And as for your mates, I don't know. I don't know all your friends. What do I know, from experience, is this is when the true friends reveal themselves from the ones who can't deal with things like this. You'll know.

Good luck.

[georgiamay]

:hug3:

I know what you mean, it crosses my mind a lot, almost everyday. I don't think I've ever gone as far as to actually try it, and I don't think I ever will. But I got close the other day. I didn't I did something else that wasn't exactly good, but it was better than downing as many paracetomol that I could find in my house.

I know you're not looking for advice or anything, but I can't help posting, just to say that you're not alone. And I know it's a cheesy line and everyone says it, and it's pretty annoying when someone says it to you (It sucks, it really frustrates me), but suicide really isn't the answer. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whatever is going on in your life, whatever you want to get out of, you can get out of it. There's always a way out of everything that involves being alive the next day.

I don't know what else to say now, I'm out of stuff. But seriously, I'm always here, and so is everyone else. We're all here to listen.
Good luck. :)

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel. It crosses my mind everyday too, and then I just lost it last week and ended up in hospital. It hasn't made me feel any better. Attempting only made me feel worse. It doesn't help anything.

I don't know if you're getting any help... but if not you should consider it. It's one of the few things giving me hope at the moment. It's giving me hope that these thoughts will come to an end. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

[Triceratops]

Thank you <3

I'm glad there are others who experience and understand this too. :)

[MadManWithaBox]

There is Marshki. I know it sounds cliche, but if you do need someone just to vent to, I'm here.