On suicide watch

[Love.Hate]

I went to my counsellor today..
and she phoned my mum and told her how worried she was i was going to kill myself.. So mum sat and cried..
I feel awful for doing that to her... :(

Now im on suicide watch, Every five minutes someone comes in to check in still alive.. i cant even cut to feel better.. they will see.

The counsellor and mum have arragned for me to go to the doctors early tommorow morning..

I wish i had just lied and told her everything was fine.. she keeps asking me why wont i open up and cry infront of her.

I dont want to look weak.. Im not im strong.. (OMG I HAVE HAD TO CLOSE THIS TAB TWICE ALREADY FOR MY "CHECK UPS") Urgh.

I was simply pointing out how easy it would be to end it all, and that i have planned it... She didnt need to tell my mum!!

This has torn her to pieces.. Im scared..

Anyway the upshot of this is that im going to the doctors early tommorow, to get reffered to some mental help charity (Im NOT a charity case). They might put me on anti-deppressants as they think i could be depressed.. Mum is being a cow and saying im not going on medication after she went on anti-depressents when she was 20 and it was the worst desicion of her life..
There you go again.. All about her.

-sorry for the rant.

I took 5 paracetamol last night.. got scared and gave up.. and flushed the other 20 ish i had lay out on my bed down the toilet..

Help.

[RAWWR]

Oh Fran! I'm so sorry, but it's probably for the best, at least they are keeping you safe. Everyone cares about you hun, thats why they're doing this. Just make the most of it and use the help to get better.

[Fiction]

Fran it is for the best. It's good you opened up to them. They can help you now.

Just hold on through all of this. Things will get better. I know exactly how you feel.

[Love.Hate]

:heart:
Its nice that people understand, No one else ever seems to get how i feel.. But you do and its so nice to know im not alone in all of this.
Thankyou :)

[Fiction]

Fran you know you can talk to me anytime right? I really do understand how you feel :)

[HeroesAndCons]

Its good that you are getting help though
:heart: If u need to vent again pm me

[kiki776]

awww you poor thing! at least we all know they care and love you lots! dont be sad. <3

[Mike321]

I'm really sorry to hear what happened, but it probably is for the best.
Their only doing it because they care about you and want you to be safe, as does everyone on here.
You can get throgh this Fran, you wont feel like this forever.
Really do hope your alright