My mom just tried to commit suicide.

[Aceso]

So, at around 10PM my mom came into my room, looking on the verge of tears, asking to check my diabetes (which I did). They read high, so I treated it and went to get back to sleep. My mom and dad were talking in the kitchen.
At about half ten I herd crashing, and shouting. I knew dad was there so I hoped everything would be okay. The next thing I hear is three loud screams, and I herd my dad yelling ''stop.'' several times, the next is just silence. I went to check that my brother is okay but I cannot hear anything from the kitchen for about an hour. then my dad comes to check us, to make sure we are okay. He is almost in tears, I have never seen him cry before. He tells me he is getting mom to ring a mental health line, and that he is phoning her doctor tomorrow.
Its my fault. Because I have brittle diabetes. Its ruining my family.
I started cutting, and I think I hit something. It looked like it was gushing pretty badly, and I was locked in the bathroom. By the time I realised that it was a problem I was feeling really faint and dizzy, and when I tried to stand up my sight clouded over and my legs kind of gave away, so I had to sit down again.
I guess I must have passed out because I remember waking up on the bathroom floor. There was blood everywhere, and my cuts were still bleeding but less. I think it was only for a few minutes but I think I was in there for about an hour afterwards keep a bandage hidden with my blades in case I ever did something like this) because I felt so sick and shaky. When I got to my room I bandaged it up (I always keep a bandage with my blades because it would be suspicious if one randomly dissapeared from the medical cupboard.) I had to hold onto things as I walked because I felt like my legs would give away at any second. I snuck into the kitchen and ate loads of sugar because I thought it would give me energy. It was about 1 am so every one was asleep. I felt really tired and dizzy but I just went back to bed after taking some pain killers, because it hurt so much. Usually I don't mind the hurt, after all that's why I self harm but this time it was a different kind of hurt. It bled through the bandages pretty quickly and I kept waking up because they hurt every time I moves. But I feel completely exhausted. They eventually stopped bleeding but I feel terrible. Just not with it, I can't think straight and I feel so weak.
My dad let me off school today because I had a bad night, but I hadn't seen my mom until she picked up my brother. I noticed that she had 3 cuts on her face but I'm terrified to ask her where they are from. I think she knew that I guessed what happened last night. It was really awkward, and I wanted to cut again.
I need help guys. What would you do in this situation. I'm scared that something like this will happen again. :(

[Nevermore]

With your cuts, you need to eat and drink a lot to stay hydrated, your body lost a lot. Sounds to me like you may need stitches. As far as your mom goes, maybe you could talk to your dad. It's not your fault or your diabetsis that pushed your mother over the edge. She maybe silently suffering from something, that she maybe able to get help for now. I'd suggest maybe if you tell your dad that your feelings down and would like to talk to someone. Then you can be open to perhaps a psycologist, or counsler and get help for youself, and how to deal with your mother. Maybe you could talk to her about it as well about getting help. It sounds like she could use someone to tlak to. Don't blame yourself it's not your fault. (hugs) PM me if you ever need someone to tlak to. I'm really sorry your going through this. My dad was suicidal once, it was scary.

[Love.Hate]

Dont blame yourself for your mother feeling suicidal, its not your fault.
You cant help it you have diabetes. Maybe there is an underlying problem with your mum? Im glad she phoned a mental health hotline. And hopefully they helped her.
As regards to your cutting, Im sorry you had to go through that. Make sure you stay hydrated as it sounds like you lost alot of blood.

I really dont know what i would have done, everyone reacts differently in different situations. If your scared it will happen again talk to your dad about it? Infact talking to your mum is probably better, let her know how much you love her And be extra nice.. Lots of hugs :)

If you ever need anyone to talk to, im here hun xxx

[ackmedsgirl666]

its not your fault that you have a disbilty
nobody is perfect
meanwhile i would try and be there for your mom as much as possible
if u feel like cutting try not to and if you do don't go crazy
look out for not only yourself but your mom and stay strong :)
hope this helps all the best

[Njathind]

Hun, this is not your fault, at all, any of it, full stop.

Dont blame yourself for this, you cant help having these ilnesses. It sounds like you had a pretty rough night. I really would reccomend you get your wounds looked at, it sounds like you went pretty deep, you might have nipped a vien.

I know this is hard but it sounds like your dad is taking care of your mum, maybe she is suffering deep down and could have been for sometime, maybe the other night it all got too much for your mum and she overflowed. All I can suggest is try and help your mum and dad as much as possible, even if its little things like helping around the house, helping do dinner or chores, it all can make a big difference.

Just remeber this is not your fault. I hope your ok hun :hug: