Another relapse.

[screamtobeheard]

This post may be triggering.

So after I relapsed the last time, I'd been doing well. I hadn't cut in over a month. Yes, I did self harm in other ways, but baby steps. Anyway, I relapsed again today. I just hate myself so much. I disgust myself. That's why I did it. Just 14 on my thighs. I don't think I even intended to do that much. It's just, once I saw the blood, felt it running across my skin, I felt better. I loved the feeling. Something about it was just so morbidly beautiful. It's terrible, I know. I don't know what to do. Because I want to cut again. And I want to more than I have in a long time. Someone please help me...

[Quahog]

That is what I hate about quitting. We sometimes relapse. We just have to start over. It's going to be tough, but we're going to do it. This time, it's going to be for good. Even when the going gets rough, we are not going to give into the blades.

A month is a really big accomplishment. I'm very proud of you. Even though you like the sensation of cutting, it isn't the right thing to do, and you and I both know it.

Have you tried any distractions? Such as wearing bands around your wrist, or squeezing ice cubes? Do you write down your feelings in a journal, or do you draw, something to keep you motivated?

I would try to find something to motivate yourself. I know your going through a lot, but the blades aren't the solution. I'm here for you, and so is everyone else here. We don't want you to hurt yourself. Whenever you want to talk, we are here.

[screamtobeheard]

The rubber bands have never really done much for me, but I haven't tried squeezing ice cubes. I do write my thoughts and feelings, but lately the words just haven't been coming. I don't know why.

Thank you so much for your support.

[katieinwonderlandx]

Hey. Everyone relapses! You have to replapse sometimes, so that you can learn from it. But now that you have done it, you have to start again, not go backwards. Youv managed a month right? So you CAN do it. Dont let yourself fall back because of one relapse. Get back on your feet and start again. You can do it.xxxx

[ackmedsgirl666]

try to avoid triggers like looking at sharp objects(hide them)
try to distract yourself from wanting to cut(it helps)

[Lost n not yet found]

Everybody relapses sometimes its normal but the main thing is that you pick yourself up n carry on. :) everybody has a fighter inside you just need 2 find it

[Mike321]

A month is really good, you should be proud of that.
Everyone has relapses from time to time, but its important that you dont let it get to you, I know its not easy, I've tried countless times to quit and have failed, but you have to keep trying, you get there even if it takes months.
You've proved to yourself that you can make it a month, there is nothing stopping you from getting there again.
Dont give up, you can do it

[whereismymind]

Your trying which is all that matters, keep it up and you'll get there. Good luck :)

[screamtobeheard]

Thank you so much, everyone. (: I really appreciate all your support.