I'm alone and I'm really tempted!

[FullyAlive]

Today started off and I was really happy, I felt really positive. But now I'm not so sure.
I'm sitting here and my family are all out and i just want to go downstairs and get the biggest knife I can find. I don't get this opportunity often I have to use small stuff like razors or scissors, they never give me as much pain as I need But now I'm all alone in the house and this doesn't happen all that often, I feel like I should make the most of it. It would be easy for me to just go and get something which would inflict a lot more pain. I know i shouldn't but I'm finding it really hard to just stay put. I'm sorry but I just can't take it anymore.

[Fushigi]

dont do it... do u know that there are alot of ppl there wanting to live longer but they cant? because they have cancer or something but instead they still fight for their lives because they know that there are ppl loving them and wanting to be with them.... just dont do it there is nothing good about taking ur own life.... we can talk if u want to ... we are here for u

[FullyAlive]

I dont want to die, well I do, but I'm not going to kill myself, all I want to do is cut really really deep, deeper than I usually do a lot deeper. I'm so desperate for it, for the pain and the blood I really really need it. And I know I shouldn't, I'm not meant to cut, especially not as much as I want to right now but I don't know if I can hold out much longer I'm sorry I really am.

[Fushigi]

just dont do it... there is nothing good about it...

[FullyAlive]

That's the problem all I can think about are the good things, how much better I'll feel the minute the blade touches my skin I can't help it

[Fushigi]

i think u need to engage in such activities in which u will forget all the things that been bugging u or something.... try to listen to some music that u know that will cool u down or call a close friend.... u need to be strong

[FullyAlive]

I'm sorry thanks for trying to help it's just it's not really working I am trying to be strong, I promise, it's just really hard and getting harder.

[Fushigi]

ok do what u think will make u feel better but after u did it just dont regret the consequences that u might encounter

[charlotte945]

plese don't do it!!!!!!!! i know its tempting todays my second day of no cutting, just be strong and remember that nomatter what there is always someone there for you!!!!

[katieinwonderlandx]

your only tempted because the oppertunity is there now, and you are worried that you might not get another one. Dont do it. Think about it, the guilt and the shame are bad enough when you cut in the heat of the moment, because you need it so badly. Theyr going to be a lot worse when you cut for the sake of cutting because you can. Your not alone, there are lots of people here, and lots of people who go through the same things. What will be better in your life after you cut just now? THINK about it. Nothing will have changed. your problems and feeling will still be with you, and you will feel even worse because you gave in. fight it, all the way. you can do it. xxx